Internally these past few days I've been silentlly grieving over a couple of broken relationships. These things happen I know, but it doesn't make them any less painful to try and minimize them.
The relationships I am mourning are ones that at one time were critical to my self-image...and they helped me to gauge myself as to how successful I was.
Silly aren't they?
Now I am in a place where I have no contact with these people -- at their insistence. Some of them have misunderstood me....what I've said....what I've written....and away they go.....creating their own reality based on very flawed facts.
I don't know what hurts more....to be misunderstood....or to be disallowed from trying to offer clarification.
Then another part ponders the fact that although I have been known by these individuals for many, many years....clearly they did not KNOW me well enough to know that I am not guilty of what they believe.
So I'm stuck.
We're now in the season of Lent. Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. Our church has adopted a novel approach to Lent this year: instead of giving up something you like or enjoy for the season, give up a burden.
So as I shared with my seat mate at church last night that my burden was "BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS" it was apparent to me that I should probably adopt an approach that Jesus used one time. As he stood before his accusers before he was crucified, He remained silent. He didn't talk back to His accusers. He didn't talk about his accusers. He didn't try to make his accusers look bad. He just let them do their thing...and He remained silent...TOTALLY.
The Holy Spirit gently nudged me last night and told me that in order for me to happily deal with these broken relationships that have bothered me, that Lent would become a SEASON OF SILENCE for me.
No telephone calls to these individuals.
No emails.
NOTHING.
1 comment:
Frank;
Yes, it is often best to say nothing. I think there is even more to be found in the story of Jesus trial that you quoted, he remained present; he continued to listen. I think he remained silent, not to protect himself, but to protect his accusers. Since they were not in a position to hear with understanding, to speak would have been a disservice to them.
The burden I want to give up for lent is the burden that old grievances and expectations have on relationships in the; the burden that I can expect a relationship to be, at this moment, any different than it is; and the burden that I can make anyone else love me. Other persons will love me or not for their own reasons, I can not change that, all I can do is to choose to love them regardless, or not.
Rick
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