I am 51 years old now and you'd think I would know a FEW things....but I still am guilty of making myself too vulnerable....too caring and too open for my own good. The result? Getting hurt....
Hurt feelings.
Hurt pride.
A few things have been swirling around in my life over the past few days.... Some have been and continue to be the source of a lot of pain -- internalized pain.
I have not really shared it with anyone in my inner circle.
The pain is just there...it has grown into kind of a dull ache now.
The source is very juvenile at best... It's not worth it. It's silly.
But the pain remains very real.
So, before I get myself into substantial trouble, I need to be silent. I need to keep it buried deep. At some point I'll deal with it.
This weekend is the annual church retreat. I really look forward to this opportunity of spending time with some of my favorite church people to relax and enjoy getting to know them better. I've had one person who has asked that I spend some alone time to chat. Maybe I can trust that person with what I have going on at the moment, i.e. if I feel I need to share it.
I also bought a new NIKON SLR Digital 35 mm camera. I'll work on putting together a new DVD for the retreat goers. I also have another idea for something as a meaningful reminder.
We'll see.
Still no word on my daughter's medical tests. I am on EDGE...big time on that one. I will spend a significant portion of time in prayer on that one.
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