Dating Again

It has been a while since I concentrated on "dating." I've just sort of taken things as they come....and if a man expresses interest on some level, then I will go out and share a meal...and get a sense of the type of man he is. Most of the time, I just go home...and am a bit disappointed at the result. So, I've taken things into my own hands and gotten out more. I've put myself out where the gay guys are. I've even posted my profile on some of those dating sites with very mixed results. In other words, I am not smitten....and ready to jump into bed or run to the altar with anyone. It used to be that I was fixated on getting my rocks off. That's not a very good confession is it? But, it was a distinct part of my sexual development. I spent much time pursuing the physical. Don't get me wrong, it was pleasurable. I got to know some super sweet men in the process...some of whom are very dear friends. But, alas, they are not what I am looking for. That slow burn....and those "feelings"...just have not occurred. So, are my standards too high? I recently posted the following ad on one of those sites: SWM, relationship-builder, 54, six feet two inches, two twenty five pounds, looking for a friendship that can potentially catch fire and turn into something special. Not into the "scene". No fast hookups. Into classic cars, old and new movies, photography, junk stores, antiques, flea markets, romance (I love being pursued), weekend getaways, Christian with a strong faith. Laid back, easygoing, low maintenance, drama-free. Tremendously affectionate! Love to touch. Hold hands. Kiss n cuddle. When it comes to sex....not into mechanical piston action. Looking for that intense and slow burn of something magical -- lovemaking. While sex is important....this is not my primary goal in placing this ad. Looking for a caucasian that is willing to explore a serious connection. Age range I am thinking of is thirties to sixties. If any of this resonates, drop me a note. Tell me about you. Send a face pic. PLEASE...no naked pics. I am no collector...it does help to see who I'm chatting with. I have a few face pics I too can share in return. If you're one of those mindless game players, move on. I'm seriously looking and hope that you are too. So, one of those early posts came from a guy that included a picture of him with his pants down, face a bit concealed. I knew from the moment he posted, this was not going to work out. He was my age. He likes to cook. He apologized for the picture but said it was the only picture he had of his face. (Really?) He was looking for friendship...and possibly more with the right guy. With some trepidation, I responded. I sent him a clear face shot.....with my gray hair blowing in the wind. The next day he responded with: "Thanks for the additional information. There will be no further communication with you." THWACK........ Felt like I had been hit up the side of the head with a 2 x 4. But I am old enough to know that one should not take any of this seriously. Clearly he was not as much into friendship as he tried to say he was. If you're really into friends, you aren't driven by inner lust or attraction. A friend is a friend. A mate is a mate. If you're lucky in life, you get one in the same. I have heard from married men.... I have heard from partnered men who aren't having sex with their partners because each one is consumed with guilt....one with catholic guilt....and the other with pentecostal guilt. (God bless religion.) I have heard from men who say they want me to pee on them. I have heard from men who want me to fist them. I have heard from men who want to "do me" while dressed in wig....high heels.....and panties. Er ummm.....all from my little ad above. Whatever happened to the normal...sane....good guys? The ones who are wanting to meet a real man....to build a relationship with. To forge a connection. To work on something long-term? I attended the DC Pride Festival today. I arrived feeling festive....but by the time I had circled the even two or three times...I was feeling kind of sad. There were some awfully attractive looking guys....walking around and holding hands with other attractive looking guys. There were even some attractive guys wandering around with some relatively unattractive guys....but they seemed awfully happy. Kind of made me wonder...am I that awful to look at? Why can't I find someone? Do you think it will happen for old Frank here? I'm not totally discouraged. These things take time I know. But gosh...you're gonna see one awfully gosh darn happy man here when it happens!