Here We Go Again!

So this is Frank....after all these years.  I'm still standing after all the drama I've lived and experienced , I'm here.  Happy to be alive.   Ready to experience love and to be with one man until either one of us moves to the next plain to await the arrival of the other.  This journey at times has been so discouraging.  As you can see if you have spent tie in my blog, I have been smitten by some really gorgeous hunks.  Likewise you have seen those to blow up into my face with great fanfare.  In one case I gave space to Chris, the man I was sure was "the one".  He even wrote in his own words that I was his one.

Well we saw how all that worked out.  He definitely was not as he had billed himself.  My kids staged an intervention on that one and told me that he was not the one.  They knew well before my lightbulb went off in my head. 

After that relationship blew into smithereens, his former partner contacted me to say this was not any of my fault...that this is how he operated.    That was quite an interesting conversation I had with him. All the stuff Chris had said about him had been inaccurate --SURPRISE!  SURPRISE!

He was only one of many sad disappointments.  one had been incarcerated on a felony, another one ran off with my then best friend, still another decided to have an anonymous hookup, only running out the door the next morning to marry him.

I've certainly experienced the agony and the ecstasy of gay life -- for sure.

Physically I've never taken very good care of myself.  At least not until I got the wake up call that the kidneys were crap.  I was assured that I would go on dialysis for a minimum of 7 years -- until I could get a cadaver kidney.   But I beat all the odds and received a kidney from a living donor on the day that my regular kidneys failed completely.  God's timing is perfect

Since June 21, 2019 I have made my physical health and eating habits a 1000% priority.  I've lost a ton of weight.  My kidney continues to work at optimum levels.  I feel well.  All is good --except for this little problem with my liver.

Actually talked to my doctor today and found out that the radiologists said in their report that what I have appears to be cancerous.  Yup, kind of took the wind out of my sails too.  The doctor said that although this is a small lesion (1.5cm), it's worrisome.  It was not there 2 years ago when they checked me from stem to stern to get me added to the transplant list.  He said though that "we would get through this."  So it was a little hard for me to understand what that comment meant.  Did he mean that his medical team would get through it?  Did he mean he and I would get through it?  Did he mean that I'm gonna die?. After all...that would be getting through it. 

I'm taking a faith based approach here.  We're all gonna get though this with flying colors.  

Back home when people would be sick from cancer, my church would request prayer for healing.  All the kind folks would pray and pray and pray.  Two weeks later, when the sick person did die, the church folks would praise God because brother so and so would say.....that the sick person had finally received their perfect healing had gone onto their reward!

I asked the good doctor what the treatment options are...he responded that it would be a Liver Transplant.  Can you believe this?  Another transplant?  The good thing is that livers regenerate not like kidneys.

So hear I am about to celebrate my first kidneyversary -- only to look FORWARD TO a future liverversary.

I can do this.