Why?
Well, things are going relatively well for me. I'm approaching the first anniversary of my donated kidney. I've had all the testing done and the doctors all say that the kidney is humming along. All my numbers are where they should be. So that's a good sign.
But....last week during all my monthly blood tests I was told that my liver enzymes are slightly elevated. They rose during the last 30 days and my hematologist ordered a CT Scan with and without contrast. He also requested a battery of tests.
Yesterday afternoon I got a call that made me uneasy....and to be honest...downright frightened. The voice on the other end of the telephone told me that i have a small lesion on my liver. As in small its perhaps 1 centimeter or less. They want me to have a biopsy and another series of MRIs. With that said, the person on the other end of the phone said that it could be cancer.
When I heard cancer, inside my heart fell. My mind raced and I thought "So, this is how its going to end, Liver Cancer!" I remembered the horrors that both my parents faced as they battled lung cancer. I again checked off all the things in my bucket list as MOOT. And of all things....I'm just now getting back to my old self following the transplant and had been looking forward to attacking that bucket list with a vengeance but then we got COVID.
So I'm sitting here in the darkness, as the world is waking up to a gloomy Thursday, that is rainy and misty contemplating my mortality. Alone. My daughter who lives with me is visiting her sister in Nashville and the newest addition to our family -- 4 weeks old day before yesterday. I feel like I want to run away and hide.
But I can't.
2 comments:
Frank,
I was one of your audience who followed your blog "way back when" and it is good to see you back to writing. I read your last three posts and was happy to hear of your improved health until I read your latest post. I am hoping and praying that your lesion is not cancer, and that it is something easily treatable. I have an MRI scheduled for next week for my prostate as my PSI levels are way up. I am hoping for the best. Take care and thanks again for sharing this. You will be in my thougts.
Michael, welcome back! I'm sorry that I left for such a long time, but I was very sick and it was no fun. Given my update today...it just keeps getting better and better (see my latest post). So I am praying for you. BTW I was speaking with a friend who was being treated in a study at NIH for prostate issues. Apparently he has had very high numbers that is indicative of cancer. BUT he was thrown out of the study because he didn't have or get cancer. So who knows!
Take care and keep smiling. By all means, keep reading OUT OF THE ASHES.
FRANK
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