My Son The Marine

I've not written much about my son the marine (MSM). It's probably because he's a private person who has been through so much in his life. In light of the fact that this is the day before the Fourth of July celebrations, what better way to honor him...

We adopted MSM when he was five. He had had a very rough life his first four years. His birth father was murdered when he was 13 months old. He suffered a lifetime of abuse physically and emotionally.

He was given up for adoption when he was almost 2. He was adopted by a military family. His adoptive father was navy and not home much. His adoptive mother was the victim of abuse herself...and she abused MSM physically and emotionally...such that, by the time he had reached the age of four, he was only the size of a toddler... The size of a toddler who was 2.8 years old to be exact. He suffered from pscho-social dwarfism...which is brought on by lack of trust, and lack of feelings of love. The body just shuts down its ability to thrive and grow.

Because we knew this family...and because we knew MSM, (we had fallen in love with him when they got him) I had volunteered to take care of him while his adoptive mother had some surgery completed. She agreed and we started taking care of him.

While he was with us, he began to thrive. He began to grow! The adoptive parents thought it would be in his best interests if he became a part of our family. So, we went through the adoption process, and after we had had him for over a year, the adoption became final when he was five, almost six.

That first year he grew an astonishing 9 inches!

He didn't make it through his entire childhood unscathed. He's had some emotional problems, diagnosed with depression, and ADHD. He's also had some other problems along the way...but we've all worked very hard to help him succeed in all that he wants to do.

MSM's career in the marines was his idea. He felt he needed discipline in his life...and he needed structure. He signed up for the Marine corps and went to boot camp two weeks after he graduated from High School in 2004.

Imagine how proud we were of him when he graduated from boot camp!

Each time he comes home I see changes in him. These changes are all good.

A lot of you out there have wondered about how he has coped with the gay issue...and the fact that his parents have split.

Well, right now I detect some hostility towards his mother. He's home visiting right now, but has no desire to travel to visit her. The gay issue, while at first was a major problem for him appears no longer to be so.

He's a lot calmer now...not as hyper.

He's very affectionate with me...and thinks nothing of coming up and giving me a massive bear hug. My gaynes has made him a lot more tolerant of others. He's told me about a lot of his friends in the military, some of whom happen to be gay. He also told me about a new friend who came to visit his roommate. That friend is gay and has a partner...and MSM spent a lot of time talking to him and asking him questions about gay life.

Yes, we have come a long, long way...