I feel so overwhelmed at the moment.
What kind of carpet do I need in the basement? What kind of furniture do I get in the den? Where do I put it? What kind of dining room furniture do I want? What about the living room? Do I want shelves? What do I put in the basement? Where do I locate my office? What about artwork? If I use some of my own photographs which ones do I use? How do I present them? Where will they go? How big do I print them?
There are so many decisions to make...I feel like I want to run away and hide.
I've been told by so many people that I should take it one day at a time. My boss, the guy who lost his wife and was left with two small children, told me to do this.
He and I compared notes yesterday. He says that he could certainly see the similarities. My wife is gone...his wife is gone. The only real difference is that my wife makes guest starring appearances occasionally in my life. His can't.
The mourning is the same.
The raw feelings and emotions are the same.
The profound sense of sadness is the same.
The memories of the good times are the same.
The feelings of loss and loneliness are similar.
All these feelings seem to hit me all at once...
No wonder I feel overwhelmed!
4 comments:
These seem like they could be fun decisions to make, if you're in the right mood to make them. Until you are, why stress?
Hope things will improve for you, and continue to improve.
All my best.
I agree with bigg -- write down the decisions that need to be made -- so that they will not be forgotten, but then let them go for the time being. You have lived co-dependent with "Lovey" for a long time. What is needed now is to try out (experiment) with an independent you. To learn (hopefully relearn) how to love being with Frank, and what he loves to do. One way that has worked for me is to get caught up in some service organization -- helping others reenforces our sense of worth.
Good points guys. Normally I do very well handling things. But, I'm finding that with all this hitting at once....well....I'm just overwhelmed by EVERYTHING. When this happens, I tend to just shut down.
So, Frank, why haven't you had much experience making all these kinds of decisions? Some one else was making them. Do you ever get the feeling that when YOU made such decisions, they didn't measure up? Is some of the fear of deciding a fear that you will get yelled at for making a poor decision?
Well, maybe I'm projecting my own stuff. But now you have the chance to make poor decisions if you want. No one to yell at you, no one to "correct" you. Maybe they aren't such bad decisions. Either way, they will be YOURS.
Do it, bro. do it.
Cheers, Joe
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