I meditated on many things while I was away on my retreat.
It’s something that you’re supposed to do as you try to use the time to center yourself on God. The interesting thing about retreats is that you’re so far removed from normal civilization, there just isn’t a lot more left to do other than meditation and prayer and Bible study.
This retreat center was in the midst of nowhere. At night when the lights went out, it was pitch black.
Totally.
So, during my many moments of solitude and quiet, I felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit. I think I am now being encouraged to pursue the ministry.
Of all things.
Due to my background, I find this prospect frightening.
Will it cause me to go off the deep end like Lovey?
Will I get all my priorites mangled….and not remember my kids and other loved ones?
Life with Lovey has shown me all the things not to do. At least I’m alone now. I don’t have my family under foot. I have no significant other living with me….other than the dog.
I don’t know where to start….or what to do. At this point in time I cannot go back to school because of time and finances. At this moment, I feel I need to wait. I don’t know for how long.
But I’m so impatient.
I want things to get going immediately – time’s a wastin’.
It all scares me.
Making these life changing decisions scares me.
Being alone scares me.
Still I wait.
3 comments:
If this is right, the opportunity (means) will appear. Thank Lovey for having taught you some of the pitfalls to avoid in the ministry.
Rick
In my opinion, bad idea. Think it through. Do you want to work with people like Lovey? Also, being a Christian doesn't mean making an occupation out of it.
I haven't been on a retreat since I was young. I remember it is an ideal place to focus on things in life since many of the daily worries are taken care of for you.
There will be always fears, I'm not alone and yet I'm STILL afraid of being alone when I grow old. I guess what I'm saying is there is not much we can do for our fears since many won't magically go away as hard as we try. Part of combating our fears might be to accept them as facts of life and not let them control our lives too much. There are many other feelings that are much better like love. Be brave.
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