Last Day of Vacation

Today is my last day of what has been an awesome vacation.

This one has been very different. I've had a friend here visiting from California and we spent a hunk of the time traveling around....seeing all the sites......laughing....talking and just enjoying one another's company. The whole purpose of his visit was to get away himself for a few days and pick my brain about all that I've been through divorce-wise. You see, he's struggling with the gay issue and he wants to divorce his wife. He's told her his plans. She's not willing to let him go and pretty much is one of those wives who is willing to let him be gay, act gay, and still be in the marriage.

I was able to offer him some words of wisdom and to expose some pitfalls that I discovered on my journey. It was a good visit.

This vacation was also a bit different for me in large part due to my being on insulin. I can't believe my energy levels! I'm also sleeping like the dead at night and awakening VERY refreshed...relaxed...and ready to take on the day. Quite an improvement from what I've been feeling for so long. I felt so bad all the time, that I thought I was feeling the normal pangs of older age. GEE.

My emotional well-being is drastically improved....as is my self-esteem.

I can see this in my interpersonal relationships...and how I view them. I'm not feeling so co-dependent. I'm not fixated.

I saw this happen on Friday. Something silly happened with one of my friends....and it's so left-field....downright bizaare.....that I'm left with feelings of ambivalence. Yes, there are feelings of sadness and sorrow......there were tears.....but then the ambivalence set in. Damage has been done. Significant damage--I need to determine if the friendship is worth trying to patch up and save.

Had all this happened before now...I would have been wallowing in feelings of self-pity and uncertainty. I would have been blaming myself and trying to figure out what I did wrong or what was wrong with me.

But now, I realize...it's not me. Sometimes other folks screw up. Sometimes they have issues. Sometimes they have to give into the drama.

Sometimes you just have to let them go.