The Science of Romance

Just read an interesting issue of Time Magazine.

It's their Annual Mind and Body Special issue with a date of January 28, with the cover story "THE SCIENCE OF ROMANCE."

It certainly caught my attention.

There was an article under this cover story that asked, "Are Gay Relationships Different?"

The author, a gay man, believes the following and has uncovered research that seems to indicate:

"straight people prefer less tension in their relationships; gay relationships work better when there are fireworks."

"gay and lesbian couples argue less belligerently than straight pairs."

"they're also more likely to use humor in an argument."

"heterosexual relationships may have a great deal to learn from homosexual relationships."

"gay men are worse at making up after fights, and gays and lesbians split up more often than straight couples."

Quite an indictment against us queer folk. The author believes that gay marriage would help such relationships work better and last longer because of all the benefits and structures that marriage affords two people.

I kind of agree.

But gay marriage is probably an item for my soap box on another day.

Early in this article, the author says somethings that stirred a memory in me.

"When I was 13, I secretly read my parents' old copy of Dr. David Reuben's
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask,", first published in 1969. Standing nervously at the bookshelf, I was poised to replace the volume quickly if I heard footsteps. The chapter on homosexuality explained, "The homosexual must constantly search for the one man, the one penis, the one experience, that will satisfy him. He is the sexual diogenes, always looking for the penis that pleases. That is the reason he must change partners endlessly. That is the reason he must change partners endlessly...They may set up housekeeping together, but he parade of penises usually continue unabated...mercifully for both of them, the life expectancy of their relationship together is brief."

I, too, remember reading that passage.

It bothered me.

But, after all 1969 was another time. It was a generation ago.

Things have changed drastically.

At the time, homosexuality was still considered a mental illness. Gay marriage was unthinkable.

Gay pride was in its infancy.

I now am surrounded with a multitude of gay couples who have been together in excess of five years. They are very happy.....and have no desire to end. They also do not have a parade of penises in their relationships...and are quite offended when someone proposes such.

Their relationships are happily monogamous...and I enjoy watching them at church...or at dinner.

They give me hope.

The prove that Dr. Reuben was wrong.

In 1969.

And he was considered to be a sexuality expert.

I wonder what someone will think 40 years from now....and how today's experts will be viewed in their discussion of the issue.