Make That SUPER SIZE!

Well, I saw the man at the office whose name is the same as my boss' yesterday! I haven't seen him all summer.

He saw me approaching from way down at the other end of the hallway.....and his smile nearly blinded me. He waved from a long way off and as he got close, he stopped to say hello. Gosh it is always so good to see him. If he only knew what his smile.....his friendliness......does for me!

Right now, in my little life, I have four SUPER SIZED crushes on four different men. If you add the man with the same name as my boss, I suppose the number grows to five!

Now, don't get the wrong idea. I don't look at these men as conquests to become notches on the proverbial bedpost. I just have undying love for each of them......and if any one of them were to say......"Hey, Frank! You wanna spend some time with me? You wanna go on a date?" I would melt dead away.

I guess, for me, the most difficult part now of being a gay, older, divorced man, is that the market for such beings is very small. After all the gay world is not that big....so the pool of potential boyfriends is small to start out with. Coupled with the fact that the majority of the "pool" is interested in young, buff, pornstar quality men, this greatly limits the pool further.

So, here Frank sits with his thoughts of quiet longing and those SUPER SIZED CRUSHES.

Mr. Office is still around and generates many mixed signals. I suspect there isn't any real interest there.....other than he is a good guy with a good heart.....who enjoys people. He and I are planning a day trip this weekend....so we'll see how it all goes.

Mr. Man on a mission, is a great source of eye candy. He meets all the qualifications contained on the secret list of qualifications for a mate that I carry in my wallet. He's single.....and he's a friend of mine.....and he has his life all mapped out. He's a lot younger than me and is totally entitled and deserves someone closer to his age.....and ***sigh*** he does have what it takes to have any man he wants. He has the pornstar looks.....young and buff. **SIGH**

Another of my crushes is someone who I have known now for about two years....I've loved him from afar....but he is so occupied....and in all actuality he and I are very different creatures. There are some similarities.....such as our mutual anal retentiveness......that would drive each of us crazy if we were to connect. But, you know, I suspect that if things were different....and he were truly available and made the first move, I'd be williing to give it a try.

Finally, the last of my crushes is married.....to a woman. He knows that I am gay and he identifies as being gay as well. He is eight years older than me..... Need I say more? We've talked and he likes being with me.....but he isn't going to leave his wife and children.

So, I can't help but wonder.....here I am.....available. My crushes all know that I'm here.... Besides Mr. Office, there have been no real "mixed signals" or heck any real signals to indicate any mutual interest. They are all friendly.....loving......and affectionate with me. But we're friends.

I say nothing for fear of making the friendships weird.

Besides, why do I always have to be the first to say something or initiate.