A Close Encounter

This morning began as any other Sunday morning. I was sleeping so well....and I was awfully tired when I awoke. I even told my daughter that I was almost convinced not to go to church, but then I remembered that I had to help lead our church Bible Study...so I grudgingly went alone.

It was a beautiful morning....and as I drove the 20 minutes to church, I had some quality time to spend with God. I told Him that I was in a really bad mood.... In light of the drama I have been a part of for the past few weeks, there was apart of me that just wanted to find another place to worship.

Old habits die hard....and I was ready to have my walls up....wherever I went. You see I have been hurt....and I really don't want to have THAT happen again. It's difficult....it's painful......and I'm just not set to deal with all that now -- of all times.

Those same feelings that I struggle with from time-to-time surfaced again in an aggressively ferocious manner. I am not real happy with myself at the moment. I feel like a freakin' failure. I am not where I would like to be personally or professionally....or spiritually for that matter. I told God that I have a lot of issues to deal with and the inventory does not seem to be reducing in the least.

So, I went to the Bible Study....and it was really good. Gosh I love those people at my church. More than I can ever say. It's just so difficult to explain, but I do.

I went out into the sanctuary afterwards and continued to talk with God about all my issues. I sincerely asked him if there was anyway for Him to let me know that he's aware of me and MY issues.

It kind of reminded me of the way married couples talk to each other after many, many years of marriage. Usually the wife will tell the husband, "Why don't you tell me that you love me sometimes?" The husband retorts, "I love you.....by all the things I do..... Do I really need to say it?"

For all the times that I speak to God, I long to hear that once in a while. Silly, I know. But I still feel that way.

We had a guest preacher today. She was a 58 year old black lady minister within our denomination. She has a United Methodist Church background. She approached the pulpit....and one of the first things she had to say was that she felt the spirit changing her message title to something (can't remember the first part) "...... or 'I've got issues."

Well, the second half of the message got my attention.

Over the course of the sermon, she said that sometimes God tells her things about people with whom she has special prayer for. She told the congregation that she would be available to pray for people personally following the morning worship service.

I decided to get her to pray with me.

After waiting in line for nearly an hour. It was my turn. She hugged me.

Now let me say, this is the first time I have ever met this woman. She knew absolutely nithing about the dramas I have faced here...

She began to pray, and to the best of my remembrance, her dialog with me went something like this, "God says that he is creating a brand new life for you. He also says that there are people from the old life who are haunting the new one. She told me that God had something very special in mind for me and that when it is all revealed to me, I would be totally shocked...and that it would be the source of tremendous joy for me. She went on to say that God had forgiven me for all the mistakes I have beat myself up over...and that God saw that I didn't feel like coming to church this morning. He wanted me to know that he had come personally to set foot in our church to be of special encouragement to me....and that I hadn't expected it....He loves you supremely and is so glad that you are still on this earth."

At this point she opened her eyes in wide surprise and said, "THAT is really something when the Lord of the universe says that he is pleased that you are still on this earth."

She continued to say that I am so very, very precious in His sight and that God knows all about my questions....and my loneliness.....and that he has something very, very special in mind for me. It is going to happen she says...and that I need to be prepared for it and to remember, remember, remember this talk.

Finally, she closed with a mention that she could see an older man that she believed was my dad. and that he was saying hoe he wishes he had been gentler with me.

She said that God would be giving me a source of great joy and that I should remember it....and now that I should prepare myself for its arrival

Once more, she said how I need to remember, remember, remember....

And I do.