Frank is Playing Catch Up!

Dear Readers:

I apologize for being gone for so very long, but things have just been kind of busy.

As I alluded to in my super short note earlier in the week, I appear to be going through a relatively "good patch." BUT there have been some bumps along the way.

Since I haven't gone back to read my blog to see what I have told you, I may be repeating myself as I write this post. Please forgive me if I have.

Back in September and October while I was in WV with my dying mother....and my ailing father, one of the people who work for me kept in very close contact with me. She called me basically every other day....just to see how I was....and to see if there was something she might be able to do to lift my spirits. I appreciated everything she did....and upon my return...she was even more attentive.

This lady has worked for me about 20 years. (That's the one thing I find very interesting: when people come to work for me....they never leave! LOL)

I came back to work on October 26.

I was buried and worked very hard to dig out. Then, on the Sunday before Thanksgiving, which was November 21, she had a seizure that surprised us all. In fact, the symptoms made it appear that it was a stroke....but in the end...after all the examining and prodding and scanning, we found that she had a large cancerous brain tumor, cancer in her lungs....and cancer on her liver.

Immediately, doctors went to work to remove the tumor in her brain and have her undergo aggressive radiation. As you may know, radiation does a number on a person...and in her case, it nearly wiped her out. Her body chemistry went haywire...and she never regained strength to have the chemo. Over time, the cancer returned to her brain and began to spread. Her cancer spread to her kidneys....and she finally died peacefully on March 27.

Her sons, 30 and 33, then turned to me for guidance. I spent a lot of time trying to help them as best as I could: she had not taken advantage of some of the perks with our life insurance company......she had no will......her children weren't on any of her bank accounts.....and on top of everything....no one had explained to them about probate....and the fact that someone needed to file 2010 taxes on her behalf as well as preparing 2011 taxes.

It was sad.....it was a bit scary.....and very stressful.

For the funeral, I was asked to speak a Eulogy....AND serve as a pallbearer.

It was a very long day.

But as bad as this experience was....I learned somethign profound: you just never know what an impact you can have on someone else's life.

I certainly did not know it.

I can't really begin to say how many people from her family came up to me to say:

"So, you're Frank.....you just don't know what all she had to say about you. I feel like I know you," etc....etc.

I cried...and cried for my loss of her.....and how she worked so hard to make me laugh during my trials and tribulations.

While she was in the hospital and rehab center...I did the very same thing. I spent much time trying to make her laugh.....or to grin. It usually worked until we reached the beginning of the end.

It has been a month already....and I still cannot believe she is no more!

So no matter how I bitch at the thought of being alone.....and having no one to love me......I look at the one that left here.....
I really know better.

So, I can't help but think how blessed I am to have friends from every corner of the planet. These are folks who have said they love me.....and are supportive in so many different ways. My problems are so small. I have a brand new appreciation for my faith.

Yes the gay formerly married guy is thankful for all his blessings.

Oh, and by the way, there are some new men in my life......not sure how they will play out....but they are there.

I just need to have some direction on how to proceed.