I am having a month of milestones -- a number of them firsts, and it has been harder than I ever thought it would. I had expected Mother's Day and my mom's birthday to provide one-two punches...but was surprised at just how hard my 53rd Birthday was on May 1.
You see, my mom and I had this little tradition that we have done every year since I have been an adult living away from home. Every year, without fail, she would call me up at the time I arrived all those years ago and as soon as I would answer the phone (at 6:52am), all bleary eyed.....there she was with her gleeful voice on the other end of the phone saying 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY'! Some years she would end that with her rendition of HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
And each year, the funny thing was that I would forget she was gonna do that...
Each year when the phone would ring on my day....at that ungodly hour....I'd mutter to myself...."Who on earth is calling me at this hour of the morning....don't they know that we're asleep?"
And then...on the end of that line...was that unmistakeable voice excitedly saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY...HAPPY BIRTHDAY....HAPPY BIRTHDAY....then that song. My frustration would just melt and we both would crack up....because she had "gotten me" yet another time!
Year after year....it would happen.
Until this year.
May 1st arrived....and no calls happened until later on in the morning....when I heard from my children....and assorted friends.
Oh, I got up and went to church. Took care of my dad..... Jessica took me to a late lunch.... Then another group of friends to us to dinner that night at Tyson's Corner.
But my mom, the person I have known the longest in my life was the one in my thoughts.
This was the first Mother's Day without her. In my quiet alone moments....there she was in my thoughts....and the tears have fallen.
Grief is hard. But Mother's Day was not as bad as my birthday...
Yesterday was her 77th Birthday!
I thought of her all day long.
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