When I started this blog long ago, I promised to be me -- totally unvarnished, not air brushed -- warts and all. So this is going to be a discussion involving this.
I have been going through quite the dry spell lately when it comes to sexual play. It seems that I have lost interest in it since Dad passed away...and I have just felt a little on the "blah" side. Also, at 53, it's kind of easy to fall into a rut of believing that you are old....fat.....ugly....and undesireable, especially when one stacks me against all the pretty young things out there in the gay metropolis. I mean, actually, I don't look like I just stepped off the set of a hot porn movie!
Late last week, a friend of mine invited me to his house for a full-fledged sex party. (I know you're shocked.) He thought it would perk me up and give me that "spark" again.
So after several days of thought, I decided I would go. But, in the state of mind I was in, I had to work myself up to go.....and tell myself that it would be okay if I were rejected. I ordered myself to not take anything personally.
I showed up at my friend's house at the appointed time. There were about 30 beautiful men there of every size, shape, and age. I kind of hung back....because at these things, it is very easy to be shy....and I was painfully so. However, I have to say that I was very pleasantly surprised by all the attention I received. By the end of the party, I was walking on air. It was a great experience for me....and I felt desireable. The guys I played with made it clear that floated their boats! WOW!
While experiencing the party I observed one older man in particular. He was relatively attractive -- not my cup of tea -- but he had an interested entourage hovering around him being attentive. Several of them made the moves on this guy....and would move in to kiss him and he would stop them and say, "Hey bud, I'm not into that! I'm straight."
I was amazed at his comment.
I watched him out of the corner of my eye for at least two hours. Here he was...naked....surrounded by 30-40 other naked men. I saw him willingly enjoy m2m pleasures....everything that two men or more can do together. I even witnessed him licking spleans right and left. Performing fellatio. Giving and receiving anal stuff. Rimming anyone and everyone who would let him.
But if any guy approached his mouth, "Hey bud, I'm not into that! I'm straight."
I was totally amazed.
For me, kissing is the ultimate turnon in gay sex. I like being passionate and intimate with who I am with. Kissing another man is wonderful and makes my heart pound.
Is it the kissing that determines I am gay?
Obviously in his mind it did. It couldn't be anything else because he did all that gladly!
2 comments:
My initial reaction is "That's bullshit". But, there may be more to it. A man's sexual urge is satisfied with ejaculation, and you don't really have to kiss to do that...at least I don't. Vice versa, I don't have to cum to feel close to a man, but I have to kiss, or at least hug, touch, and 'show affection' to feel that closeness.
I do have a problem with "GAY". I am not absolutely positive what that means, so I guess you can make it true, that if you don't kiss, you are not gay, just by defining what "GAY" means.
Frank, that's disgusting.
A cliched, gay sex party with men who are probably crawling w/ diseases (ie. HIV). Smart move, pal. Gay men are looked down upon because of shit like this -- I'm a straight man.
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