Today at 6:52am I turned 48 years old!
Goodness...time flies!
I've heard from all my children....I've heard from my parents.....I've heard from Zach....and even my wife wished me a happy birthday, along with her mother.
Life continues to be good.
Yes, it seems that I am definitely on the upswing...this is the longest period since June 9 that I can say that I am beginning to feel really good about things.
Yesterday I drove Lovey to visit our daughter who is graduating from college this coming Saturday. There was a special awards banquet for her honor's college last night. So Lovey and I had a total of six hours alone to talk -- uninterrupted. I told her that I was in a very different place than where I have been and that I'm calming down. I also told her that I have learned a whole lot of things about me during this painful time.
I also shared with her my disillusionment with her church and her colleagues for not reaching out to me or at a minimum, checking in with me. Likewise, I mentioned that I perceived her sisters and their husbands as being somewhat shallow in that they haven't checked on me either... even though they have said on a number of occasions how important and "special" I am to each of them. To my surprise, she agreed with my assessments on all fronts.
(I had to chuckle inside when I heard that one of my brothers-in-law has a gay friend that he spends a great deal of time with and travels with several times a year. I have these delicious scenarios that play out in my head....what if???? You'd have to know him and the woman he is married to in order to fully understand just how delicious all this could/would be...)
As I look back on the year I have just come through, I can't help but feel that it has all been for some greater purpose. I think I'm going to be a much better man for it. I think it will make me a better resource for other guys who find themselves in a similar situation....I believe it will give me a tremendous capacity to show genuine empathy I would not have ordinarily been able to muster.......and ultimately I think this will make me better partner material for the man I grow old with.
2 comments:
Happy Birthday Frank!
You have had quite a 47th year. And it appears that you gaining some perspective on what you have experienced. All in all, I think it is a good reason to celebrate your life – which is what I think birthdays are all about.
That you have Zack to share this with, not just we disembodied cyber souls, is a huge blessing. We can only connect on an intellectual level; with Zack it can be physical and emotional. I urge you to take every opportunity to recharge each other’s lives.
I am very pleased that you have noticed the changes in your feelings, and the changes in your interactions with others. There will, of course, be more changes, every day, some positive, others will be challenges. Sharing those realizations forces us to notice them, and noticing our lives, I think, makes them better, more precious.
Rick
Frank,
Happy wonderful birthday! I've been reading your blog for the last couple of days and I am shocked at how similar our situations are, except that you've been able to make a change and I can't or won't. It's fantastic to see how things are playing out for you and that you are being surrounded by positive energy. May this be just one of the many fantastic, liberating, joyful birthdays you will have.
Peace,
Wayde
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