Memories of Lovey

I met a friend for dinner last night. He hasn’t seen me in a few years, and word of the divorce took him by tremendous surprise.

“I’m not really shocked,” he said matter-of-factly. “It was always clear to me that Lovey put her ministry before you and the kids and that the kids always seemed to gravitate toward you.”

He went on.

“It always used to bother me how she would have her sermon books, notes, and related materials scattered all throughout your house. Your stuff was in a closet and whenever you took it out, she would always say, ‘remember to put it back.’ But her stuff always was scattered throughout. Man, I don’t know how you put up with all that.”

He then told me about how he had run into Lovey at a restaurant during the separation. Of course, at the time, he didn’t know that we were separated. He said that she was cold, distant and aloof and it had bothered him. He asked her where I was, and she said, “He’s not with me.”

That exchange had bothered him, but he had assumed that she was angry with him about something and he said his goodbye and was on his way.

He was very sad to hear about all the things I had gone through and endured over the past 2 years.

Then he paused and looked at me and said, “I’m glad you’re doing well. You look GREAT! “

He said that I appeared “together” and “relaxed.”

His comments have now joined the legions of others who have all said the same thing. I look “good”…..I look “relaxed.” I have “landed on my feet.”

So, it must all be true. I mean, all these people didn’t all just get together and say, “Hey, when we see Frank again, let’s tell him how good he looks….or how relaxed he looks.”

He made a whole lot of other observations last night and I’m left asking myself, why didn’t he and my other friends say something to me during my marriage about the things they were noticing….or the vibes they were getting? I would have certainly listened to and respected what they said. Their words would have found a lodging place within my heart.

But for whatever reason, they all chose to remain silent.

So, now as I’m adjusting to a single life, I’m hearing the stories. The stories of other people’s encounters with Lovey….of other people’s observations of Lovey……of the negative impressions they had of Lovey…

And I thought I was the only one with stories of Love to tell.