Wednesday Night

Last night was a bit busy for me. Last winter I had attended a gay men's retreat in Northern Virginia. There were 15 of us who met at a church not far from my house. We talked about all aspects of Gay Spirituality including church, religion, and sex. My spirits were certainly buoyed by the fact that I had made new friends and attended to my spiritual needs.

This particular retreat was the first of its kind. The facillitator has done a good job at keeping the group together and we meet every month to share a meal and to catch up with one another. It certainly builds community and friendships.

Earlier this month, the facillitator hosted the second retreat. Again, he had about 15 attendees. They all had the same experience as the rest of us. Last night we (the first group) hosted a potluck dinner for the new group. We all got to share and to get to know one another. It really was quite neat.

One man told the story of how he had been married for 38 years, when his wife passed away about a year or so ago. He now feels free to finally experience life as what he was meant to be. He is deep in his closet...but cautiously exploring life.

Another man shared how his divorce after 20 years left him with a warm relationship with his ex-wife.....and how he had met his partner who was also going through a divorce...a bad one. Between the two men, they have three children and live in a house in DC.

So the entire evening was spent sharing each of our stories.

Several of us who have FACEBOOK accounts encouraged the other to contact us and become our friends. One of my new friends (the man with the blended family) friended me today...and I was shocked to find out that I know his partner. AND...on top of that.....his partner is not someone that I respect or like.

Guess that means that I will be keeping my mouth shut...and just watching how all this unfolds. He isn't a high caliber person. He kind of has the personality of a gnat. And he has the reputation of being somewhat "loose."

I can understand why that divorce was bad. As I recall, he was a jerk to his wife.

So, I sit and ponder the same old question. How do people like that wind up with partners?

Clearly I don't understand all this. I may have standards that are unattainable and this may be my problem. WHEW!