What's Wrong With Me???

I must confess that today was a very strange day...from start until finish.

This entire weekend has not been what I had planned. But I tried to make the most of it in spite of being disappointed. I suppose this weekend wasn't good because of the anniversary of the divorce -- even though I made a point of keeping busy with a host of different projects Still, in spite of my best efforts, I chose to clean out the junk room. It's my spare room that I hope to shortly convert into an office. It contained all the junk I did not know what to do with after Lovey departed this building on June 20, 2006. So, I was looking at having to do something with a room full of stuff that had been sitting there undisturbed for four whole years. (This is the room that I tried to do away with while my daughter was gone to El Salvador....but the hurt and everything was just too fresh to worry with. I spent the majority of that time in tears...and overcome with grief. I threw everything back in there to be dealt with at a later time -- NOW!

This go round I chose to do it on this weekend where I was feeling odd to begin with.....and wouldn't you know, I found some old cards and letters that Lovey had written during the few good times of our marriage. It added to my gloom. BUT...I was able to destroy those few items....and toss a host of garbage away. I emptied about 5 large boxes of stuff.....and about 10 garbage bags of junk that is now sitting on the curb for pickup in the morning.

I suppose I am making progress here. No tears....no feeling sorry for myself, just a feeling of odd detachment.

Some friends are playing cards tomorrow night.....and I've been invited to join in. Tonight a friend from my men's retreat in January called me up out of the blue to get some encouragement. He thanked me for listening to him....and he told me what a good friend I was.

Oddly, his call made me feel better....

At least I am having an impact on someone's life.

It's now getting late.....and I guess I need to head to bed.

It has been a long weekend.