Friday Morning

I am home today trying to get ready for a church retreat that is being held at a wonderful place not far from Charlottesville, VA. It is literally in the middle of no where. It will give me some time to ponder....to center myself....to try and figure out what my next move is going to be in the chess game of life. Who knows? Perhaps I will be able to further crawl out of this valley I have been in all week.

It has been a very busy week at the office. I have gotten lots done. It just never ends.

I've also been having a good time posting old family pictures to my FACEBOOK page. As a result, I've been hearing from a lot of my cousins and other relatives that I have not heard from or even seen in a number of years. In fact, one of them left me a message and asked me to call him last night.

Well, I did...and it was heartwarming to reconnect with him after all these years. I felt like a million bucks in being able to talk to him. He lives in Ohio...and was asking me about all the stuff I knew about our relatives. (I was a bit taken aback by what little he knew.)

So, this season of my life appears to be about building bridges and reaching out.

Life is so filled with uncertainty. I'm amazed at how naive I was in thinking how steady my life was....with the job...the wife....the kids....the house....the trappings of a successful and "happy" life. That all changed in a flash...and here I sit....at age 52...alone.. Who would have ever thought I would be in this place at this age.

I'm sort of at an ebb right now. I'm not "blue" or depressed, but then I am not ecstatic either. The desire of a significant relationship is still there.......I don't think there are any serious prospects out there for me right now.....even with all the men who have been listed previously who make cameo appearances in my life from time-to-time. Hopefully this retreat will help me.

The song below is one that I just found. It has been out since June....and although the subject matter is a bit "dark" the video is amazing. The melody is catchy, yet haunting... The video is not nearly as dark as it could be.... A couple of the lyrics have stuck with me: "The sharp knife of a short life..." and "Funny when you're dead how people start listening..."

I posted this elsewhere, and was asked by a friend to tell her what I thought it meant.

I think it means to treat people well all the time....not wait until they are at death's doorstep and that young people do not have a monopoly on life. Life can end in a flash....young or old. Listen to what people say now...don't get all misty after they're gone.



I know this has been a scattered post...but it's kind of like me emotionally these days....

All over the map.