On one of the online groups I'm a member of, a thread has emerged that is of particular interest to me. It's simply entitled, "Friendship, Sex and Longing." The group is composed of men who are married to women and are out to their wives. Each person's situation is different....they have negotiated their own paths to marital fulfillment.
On person in particular wrote:
"To finally have friends who understand what this is all about is huge. After spending years alone in my thoughts, same sex thoughts that no one must know, to have a good friend who I can share it all with has been so healthy for me.
A large part of my wife's acceptance of my having bi/gay friends has been the benefit of the "me too" and "I understand part". When I come back from a night or weekend away with my friend my wife sees the inner peace and self acceptance that I gain and it spills over to my being a better more fun husband. It is a transformation that our wives need to see with their own eyes to believe."
This post stirred memories in my own life....during my marriage. I had met another married man...in similar situation to me....and we hit it off immediately. We were together for 8+ years. When I divorced...he couldn't take it...and just backed out of my life.
During our time together, his wife noted on many occasions "how good we were for each other."
The issue was finally on the back burner.
Our times together made us better husbands.
I know this is hard to understand for some of you...but it worked.
For a season.
This post triggered memories....and so I sat and wrote this. It's not the typical fare I offer up here...but it was worth remembering.
No comments:
Post a Comment