Have You Noticed.....?

I have been writing here a lot more in the past few days. I guess this is because that I feel a tad guilty at neglecting you all for months at a time. So, I am striving to really keep you apprised of what I am experiencing...or at least thinking about.

The gay issue is not ever very far away from my mind.

For example, today I actually got to spend some time with a man that I have been corresponding with for several months. It was frustrating to me because although he said that was looking for something more than a hookup...he veered off into a discussion about how he has been used only for sex. He then told me about all his conquests....and then shared pictures of his conquests.....and suggestive pictures of himself.

Once again, I found myself totally turned off.

He was attractive....I could have really been into him...but he would not shut up....and with his discussion of prior conquests in all its gory detail, I'm just turned off.

Another nice guy contacted me as a result of one of my personal ads online....he and I have traded emails. We've traded face pics...we've talked and shared. He sound like a good man. He has been married and has adult kids like me. Planning to meet him this week, but I am not getting my hopes up.

Perhaps it is self defeating....or I am just fulfilling self made prophecies.

So, I am at a loss.

What do I do to meet a good guy?

I do not want to be desperate or to just fall for the first man who shows interest.

So, I just have to take my time....keep my standards and move forward.

It would be so helpful if I had a lot of dating experience. I don't have it. So I don't know what the rules are....I have no way of knowing if I'm committing relationship faux pas.

Gay men can be cruel. The rules appear out of no where generally after you have committed the sin. Gay men are not forgiving.

Then what do I do when I meet someone that I have attraction to? Do I continue to be the one who takes the risk and lay my cards on the proverbial table...or do I hope that he will make the first move.

I know several men who are in this category. All it would take is if they were to suggest that we try something....

I will let you know if something develops....