Mindless and Mechanical Sex

I am just so sick of my whining....and my overall frustration at not having someone in my life.  I am so sick of me.

So here is the thing that is so maddening.

Why is it that men will spend forever whining about their bad experiences in the land of gay.....and yet still wallow in the same old ways.

Let me explain.

A man that I went to visit -- to actually meet for the very first time on Monday, whined about the lack of love in his life.

He went on and on and on and on about it. 

He spoke of his former partner....boyfriend....whatever you want to call it....and how that they had barebacked the last time he saw him and how he picked up prostatiis from bacteria from his bf!

Then as we chatted, he was bombarded by 10 or so instant messages from people hitting on him on GROWLR.

Then he talked about his getting drunk and waking up with people in his bed.  How he couldn't remember their names....and how sometimes he is thankful that there are no people in his bed after a night of heavy drinking.

Then how he meets people and how they disappear into the ether.

He then talked about the innagural ball he was attending that night and how he hoped he didn't get so sloshed that he couldn't walk to the metro. 

Spent two hours with him...and decided I needed to leave.

NOPE!  There was not any intimacy....even though he was hunky and former military.

After all that, I don't want to pursue him.  He kind of turned me off.

Today I received a text saying how much he enjoyed meeting me.  I told him that I ennjoyed meeting him too.  But most definitely not headed any place.

Upon reflection, I hope I don't come across like him.  I gave my undivided attention to him.  I turned off the cellphone.  He did turn down his television.    I have to give credit where credit is due.

I answered all his questions.  He answered all mine when he wasn't blabbing on and on and on and pausing to answer texts from men who "wanted him."...

But when I left, I pondered him....and compared him with me.  I now know how I don't want to come across.   Yes, he was quite doable....and I could have just had mindless and mechanical sex with him.  I could have left with my carnal needs satiated....

BUT

As I grow further into deep middle age, I am totally turned off by this kind of sex.

I want something meaningful and lasting.

Not a fast hookup.

Not just a secretion of bodily fluids all over.

But someone who will be there for the longhaul....and even be there when the fluids stop being secreted and the moaning stops.

WHERE ARE THE MEN LIKE THIS IN THE DC AREA?