A Day Off

My daughter has badgered me about taking a day off during the week so that we could just have some dad and daughter time.

I finally was able to clea rmy schedule, and today was that day. We did not do anything spectacular. We just played some tennis....had the dogs nails clipped.....also trimmed him ourselves.....and then curled up in the basement to watch some movies in my collection.

During the evening I received some very troubling news. One of my best friends from over 30 years ago died unexpectedly this morning. Her daughter had sent me a message on Facebook. I called her to express my condolences and I am planning to go to the wake or the funeral this weekend.

Not too sure how this is all going to work out, but we will see.

As a courtesy, my daughter called Lovey. She told her the bare basic information, and the connection went dead. After about ten minutes, Lovey phoned back and was all in tears about this death. She said that for some unknown reason, this death had affected her in a bad way. But she couldn't remember any of the details around her family...or anything else about her.

I was perplexed....but then, this is Lovey we're talking about.

Nothing she says or does surprises me anymore.

And so it goes.

Frank's Adventure in a Funeral Home

A few months ago I was perusing the obituaries in the Washington Post.

I know....I know...but it was the only section of the newspaper I had during a very boring lunch. It was on one of those stressful days where I was hiding more than anything during my lunch hour.

As I ate my lunch I turned the page and lo and behold there I was on "that" page.

You know the one.

The one with "those" pictures.

Those pictures of the people who have passed on....who were born in say, 1927...and the picture looks like they were 22.

I digress.

As I scanned the names of those who had recently departed, my eyes fell upon a familiar name.

"Surely not," my mind thought as I read the notice for more details.

The name was right. The wife's name was right. But I didn't know his children. Then came the name of a stepson with a very unique surname.

"Yep, that's him!" I told myself.

So I decided to show up for the wake the following evening at the funeral home listed as across town -- way across town from where I live.

I left the office early that day so that I would be sure to arrive at the designated place and time. Gee, I didn't even know that there was a funeral home in that place. Sure enough, there was.

I arrived early to see a somewhat large group of people that all looked unfamiliar to me. The mortician who reminded me more of Santa in black greeted me at the door.

"These people are also here for the viewing," he said somberly, with a smile. "We're not allowing people in until the widow has had an opportunity to view the corpse," he continued. "I suppose she is stuck in traffic."

So I looked around the room and found a very discreet place to sit down to wait.

As I settled and got all comfy, a few more people came wandering in -- none of whom I knew. The mortician appeared again at my side with a candy dish.

"Would you like to have one of these?" he asked?.

"Thank you" as I reached for a mint.

"The wife of the departed is still not here," he said eyeing the assembling crowd nervously.

"I'm sure she will be here just as soon as she can," I said. The viewing was listed as 5pm, but when I looked at the clock, it was very close to 5:30.

More people arrived. This time there were faces I recognized from almost 30 years ago. Thirty years does make a big change in people.

Others just never change.

Several clergymen had now appeared. Other than for a few more gray hairs....and a sagging jowl here or there, and age lines, they were the same as I knew them in the day. One of them, who I had not had any dealing with in decades seemed to recognize me.

He approached me and I addressed him by name and told him who I was.

"Frank, Frank, Frank!" he said in a condescending tone that seemed to begin in heaven and by the third Frank, had reached hell. I knew something wonderful was about to be emitted from his mouth."

"Frank...how are YOOOU?"

But before I could answer, he continued.

"I heard you got a divorce! What happened? You and your wife used to be such fine Christian people!"

"I'm doing fi---------" but before I could finish he had already leaped five giant steps to another ministerial colleague he had not seen in a while.

Thankfully, other people arrived that I knew....who didn't know the fat, middle aged guy I had become, and they left me alone. I was happy they didn't know me. There was the formerly demon-possessed woman, the convicted child-molestor, the microbiologist, the lobbyist, and other assorted people.

Suddenly, the Santa in black returned to stand by my side.

"She's here", he said cheerfully. "There was a horrible accident on the beltway that had delayed her."

"Oh," I replied.

It was only 45 minutes past the beginning of the viewing time listed in the Washington Post.

After a few more minutes, we were all ushered into the viewing room.

The beautiful wooden box was closed.

The Sunset of Life

Today something out of the ordinary happened: I was thinking about a man that was the first man to ever utter those three words, "I Love You", to me when I was at my lowest back in the summer from hell -- 1997. I can't remember if I wrote about that period of time or not, but it was a traumatic year for me.

I had been corresponding with him for about six months and we had chatted on the telephone a lot. He lived in Austin, TX....and of course I was here in Washington, DC. It so happened that I was asked to go to Houston, TX on business... When I told him that I was doing that, he dropped everything and drove the 2.5 hours to meet me. We spent a blissful day there and he showed me around.

Although he and I had entertained the thoughts of becoming a couple, he wound up dumping me for Jesus...and telling me that God told him that I would damn his soul to hell....if he kept messing with me. Did not really know my own strength at the time!

I was devestated....and over time we lost touch.

Well, today I ran across some old email from him. I had a bright idea to begin searching FACEBOOK for him and his family. I found entries for his three kids and his wife...but nothing for him. I finally used the information I had located on his family in Facebook to do a greater search on GOOGLE...only to find that he dies in October of last year from an aggressive form of cancer.

I was directed to his obituary...and to some blogs that included pictures of him.

He had certainly changed much in the past 13 years....and the cancer had taken its tool. But that was him.....and I could see the man I knew, staring out from those pictures.

It only reinforces the feeling that those around us are here for only a short time. Then they can be gone in an instant. He was only 52 at his death....with beautiful adult children and a wonderful wife.

So here I sit....getting ready to leave my office for the day -- thinking of this precious man... In my own way grieving for him....for his family.

I am glad we crossed paths.

Life continues....

What a Week!

Since I last wrote, I've been dealing with a couple of deaths in my family. (Both are on my father's side.) His only surviving brother died on June 18. So on Father's Day, I, along with my daughter, got up bright and early to drive to Canton, OH for the viewing and funeral. It was a nice trip...and I got to reconnect with some relatives that I have not seen in many years. I also got to connect with some of my more younger relatives that I barely know.

Then, as all of you know, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson all died within a relatively short time frame. I am amazed that I am now at the time of life where people who were icons during my youth are now beginning to die off. But, this is a part of the cycle.

Finally, on this past Friday morning, my aunt (the widow of another one of my dad's brothers who passed away in 1994) passed away in North Carolina -- having lost her fight with brain cancer. This time my daughter and I get to head to my home in WV to be at the funeral there that happens on Tuesday morning.

I still have not decided how long I will stay. I probably will stay through the July 4th Weekend. It's time for me to visit with my mom anyway.

So, I have been busy.

It really is something to have to face all these deaths at once.

Hopefully upon my return, we can get back on track with writing on this blog again.

Please remember my family in your prayers.