A Bad Day

Today has not been a good day.

I'm not sure why it has been such, but it hit me all at once mid-morning like a cold slap in the face. It settled in to the bone.

So, I showered, got dressed and took my camera and headed into Washington to photograph the tulips and the monuments. I even got to the new Air Force Memorial....and I took my time. It was a beautiful day and as you can see from photographs here, they came out beautifully.

I left and drove to lunch and then headed home.

But then, getting home the cold sadness began to settle in for the long haul.

I hurried out back and got out the lawnmower, mowed my front yard. I cleaned up the clippings and was tired. So, then I went upstairs and crashed beside my dog. I slept for two hours....and then woke up, but the sadness still clung to me like a London Fog.

I don't know why this is. I should be happy. I should be carefree. I should be looking forwrd to my new life. I should be enjoying my freedom as a gay man.

But today, being gay feels like weight around my neck....pulling me into an inescapable abyss.

Unless you're gay, you'll never understand the abyss. You'll never understand its alluring pull.

Tomorrow will be another day.