Healing

I think old Frank is beginning to heal from the wounds suffered during this painful time of separation and divorce.

It seems like for the past 6 or 7 years, I have done nothing but bob from one crisis to another or try to heal one drama or another or keep fences mended or try and be a peacemaker in my family. Finally after the false beginning of the end in late 2003, the illness and subsequent death of Lovey’s father in 2004 and the ultimate separation in 2005…I’ve done nothing but bob and weave through the dips, twists, and turns now known as the roller coaster of my life.

It’s been truly a time of terrible pain, anger, hurt and grace…all wrapped up in one big and ugly package.

I’ve processed a lot of my feelings here in this blog over the past 200 or so posts. It’s hasn’t been too pretty. You’ve seen me at some amusing times and some really bad times.

Now, I’m beginning to see some glimmers of healing and of hope for a very good future.

Last night I had a wonderful evening with a married couple I know. They, their two small children, and the wife’s mother called me up out of the blue to invite me to go to dinner with them. Rather than meet them there, they said they would be by in about 10 minutes to pick me up.

And there they were in their black van. I actually was able to enjoy a comfortable ride without driving for a change! WOW!

Over dinner, we talked. We talked about everything. We talked about kids and about foods. I even found out that the mother-in-law grew up in Peru and used to have pet alligators and that her daughter (my friend) was stung by a scorpion at age 3 and nearly died.

They asked about the divorce and how I was doing.

And then it happened.

I made a joke about the divorce.

AND I laughed…..a very good and hearty belly laugh. You know the kind, the ones that erupt from deep inside.

After we stopped our laughter, I turned to them and said, “You know, it has been years since I have laughed!”
And it has been….many years.

I’ve also been helped spiritually by getting reacquainted with the spiritual Frank. During my years of drama, I sort of let that one slack off too. At my new church I’m trying to become comfortable with the concept of unconditional love….gentle love….

With my many years of church work and experience….this is a very TALL order. I find myself waiting for the drama to begin….or the other shoe to drop…..or something…..

I have so much to learn.