Everyone who comes to this blog I hope, is familiar with the story of Brokeback Mountain. I’ve seen the movie a number of times and cry at the end. I now own the movie on DVD and own the music from the film.
I suppose that seeing this timeless film digs so deep into my well of tears because I have a Brokeback Mountain in my life.
For those unfamiliar with the story, it tells the story of two cowboys: Jack and Ennis, who find love among the sheep on Brokeback Mountain during one summer in their youth. For the next 20 years, their love remains strong….sure….passionate…..tempestuous – even through their subsequent marriages to women, the birth of children, and different career paths. They still make time for each other at least onece a year….with Jack always longing for the fulltime…24/7 relationship with Ennis. Ennis on the otherhand is always ready with an excuse and a genuine reason for how this can never be. Then, Jack dies tragically leaving Ennis alone with nothing but a bloodied shirt from where Jack and He had a fight on Brokeback, a postcard, and memories of that carefree life on Brokeback Mountain so many years ago.
I have a Brokeback Mountain in my life.
He is someone that I love dearly…..unconditionally…….and will never have completely. He’s married and has commitments upon commitments. His job takes him virtually all over the world. We hardly get to spend any time together whatsoever. Probably soon it will turn out to be one time per year that we may get to meet for lunch.
But it doesn’t matter really.
You see, I love this man with all my heart…. Probably about as much as any man can love anything. But I love him enough not to make demands. I love him enough to overlook his faults….and he is human folks and has a few….just like me. Sometimes I wonder if he really knows the true depth of my feelings. Does he fully understand the times that I’m guilty of hanging onto just a possibility of getting to spend a few seconds with him with great anticipation? Does he know what it feels like to have that little morsel taken away in the blink of an eye because of a misunderstanding or a last minute priority that must take precedence?
I won’t make demands…..I know better. I’m not pushy. I don’t beat my chest. I don’t scream at the top of my lungs.
He doesn’t have to do a thing to earn or maintain my love, but breathe.
Well, April 26 is my Brokeback Mountain’s birthday.
I probably won’t get to see him. It's ok.
But I just wanted my cyberbuds everywhere to know…the my Brokeback Mountain exists. I want my Brokeback Mountain to know that I am here...and love him with everything I have.
And that I love him with all my heart.
Happy Birthday.
1 comment:
BEAUTIFUL POST!!!
it could have been written by me (but you have a much better way with words)...I too have a married brokeback mountain... I can sooo relate.
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