Dinner With A Friend

Well, I was finally able to have dinner with my church friend last night. It was a very enjoyable way to end my hectic day. It was also a pleasure to get to know him a bit better.

He is an attractive, well-built young man who is 30 years old. He spoke of all he wanted to do in life. He is also gay.

I marvel at all the young men and of course women, today who just seem so together. The gay thing has not inhibited them in any way. They're happily well adjusted. They know who they are. They also aren't afraid to just be themselves.

In this one's case, he keeps a very active schedule.....he's going to school....he works ful time and is thinking of switching to a new job -- interview was yesterday and it looks good ---he loves to run marathons -- he works out (and has a killer body as a result).....he's very attractive.

I told him that he literally has the world by the tail. He can write his own ticket and be whatever he wants to be.

If only I had been as blessed in my early years.

But then, I wouldn't have maybe had the children I do.....and the learning experiences I have had.

But it's neat that he's in my life.....and it blesses me to hear of how he's doing.

I Can't Get Over This...

When you’re like me, an adult male who has been to hell and back…..who grew up as a very lonely only child…..and you limited yourself rather starkly because of your internalized homophobia….it’s really quite a milestone to reach where I now am with a host of friends, a loving and supportive family (parents and children), and people who genuinely seem to enjoy my company.

Let me share some vignettes:

First, there’s my friends who invited me to go to Myrtle Beach with them. They were instrumental in getting me grounded in my church when I first started going. One of them in particular saw backward, shy, me on that first Sunday and said, “Hey, we have a group that goes out for lunch every Sunday after church. Wanna come?”

So, here I am a year and a half later…still recovering from the glorious trip I had with them.

This vacation was the best I’ve ever had.

Second, when I showed up at church this past Sunday, after having been away from it for two weeks, I found out that I was going to get a “Pie In The Eye”….it’s a big fundraiser. The three highest who have collected the most money…..and the three lowest without money in their jars get a pie in the face. Folks without money in their jars are auctioned to the highest bidder….so since I was at the very bottom….I had to endure an auction. In the end, I got socked with a chocolate cream pie… There I stood with my starched, favorite, yellow shirt….dress slacks…..and perfectly coiffed hair. Chocolate and whipped cream up my nose…in my ears……..down my neck….

Everyone got a great laugh…including me. As I was cleaning up, one of the other church members said, “This should tell you how much you’re really loved by these people, here.” And it did.

Third, when I got back from the beach this past Saturday, I was totally inundated with telephone calls from my pals from across the region…and across the country. Everyone wanting to know if I had a good time……what was it like……was the weather good…..was I in good spirits.

Fourth, another of my friends at church invited me to dinner this week to celebrate my birthday belatedly. So I said yes….and we’re going this evening to one of my favorite restaurants.

Fifth, still another of my friends invited me to dinner last night….and an evening of “Hearts”, a card game….and while we played…there was talk of yet another beach trip…this time to Delaware following Labor Day.
So, in addition to the usual suspects that I love dearly, my universe of friends continues to grow.

It almost seems to be a never ending stream of new people coming into my life. All I do is just allow myself to be me….and to be friendly…….and to be loving…..and then they are cemented into my life.

And, there is a new wrinkle….with my friends that I went to the beach with. Both of them have decided that I need a boyfriend. I like to kid them and do my best Oprah imitation by saying, I want a “HUZZZZZZBUNNNNNDDDDD.” They laugh at me. But now they are on a matchmaking quest…..and are fixing me up with a gentleman who is slightly older than me…..quite wealthy……and he’s looking for a partner.

I’m not sure what I think about all this.

But I told them that I am open to meeting the person….and sharing a meal. So we’ll see.

So, if my pals want to start matchmaking….I guess I’m okay with that. After all…my own efforts appear to be failing miserably because men aren’t exactly lined up at my door wanting to date me!

Mr. Office has been a bit quiet the last few days. I’ve stuck to my guns and haven’t tried to contact him. Although on Monday we did have a very close encounter….. Again, filled with plenty of mixed signals… BUT…in my mind, if he were truly interested, wouldn’t he make his intentions known, beyond question or interpretation?

Or am I expecting too much?

In any event, I do not have my hopes elevated.

The Verdict Is In...

Laura had her audition for American Idol.

They said they would "pass."

No words of encouragement like...."You did good"....or "You sucked."

Just a simple, "We'll pass."

Laura is stil encouraged about the experience....and is confident she will make it the old fashioned way.

I believe she's got it.

Take a listen at : www.myspace.com/lauravancemusic

Post your thoughts.

Wonders Just Never Cease...

Although it has been hard.....I've not had any communication with "him." Well, let me back up...

As of the last writing, I had not had any communication with him. However, after I had finished my post last night, I happened to be going through my mail and getting caught up.....and there was a letter from "him." He missed me and just wanted me to know that he had been thinking about me....and that he hoped I had had a wonderful time on my vacation.

It made me happy.

Beyond words happy.

I can hardly contain it all.

We then communicated just now. He contacted me. There was a warm familiarity with him.......just the sound of that wonderful voice set my heart aflutter.

I could hardly contain my glee.

What else can I say?

I've got it bad for "him"....

Could it be that he is the "one" that I have hoped and prayed for so long???

I'm Back!

No, I've not fallen off the face of the earth!

I've just returned from a full week in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina with a gay male couple who have become very dear friends of mine. It was nice to get away....and to explore a place where I have not been in 35 years! I took loads and loads of pictures!

I found the beach that I played at all those years ago.....the hotel we stayed in.....the roller coaster that fascinated me.......and so many other sites and sounds and smells. It was wonderful.

We stayed at a high rise condo right on the beach.....we were on the 15th floor and had a balcony that faced the Atlantic Ocean. What a stupendous view....

I was able to pray.....and to meditate.....and to think on things. It helped to center me....and to bring a whole lot of focuse to my life.

Although there is a tremendous need deep inside of me that longs to have a boyfriend.....a fulltime one......one that is monogamous......and well adjusted.....drama free..... And, yes, even though I think I have found the prime candidate....at the office, I can't say for sure that it really is going to work.

I've received so many mixed signals from him.... I just can't get a handle on it to actually know what it is he is trying to convey. While I was gone, I got three messages from him....all brief.....none very confirming.....just "Hi....hope you're getting rest.....blah...blah" kinds of notes.

So, I have arrived at a conclusion.

Why do I have to be the one always initiating some sort of romantic entanglement with someone? For once, why can't it emanate from the other side of things? If the man is truly interested in me...then he's going to have to let me know.

I'm tired of the games....and trying to figure out what's going on.

It's silly.

So, instead of making up excuses to drop by his office...or to call or to email......I'm just going to let it be.

Let's see what happens.

I'm not really expecting a lot......

Something Is Happening

I was quite busy this morning doing the normal ritual of getting ready to come to the office. I awoke -- feeling like a million bucks. My dog began dancing which told me that he needed to go outside. So I trudged down the steps to my front door and let him out into the front yard where he did his business.

I let him back in and hurried down the steps to put in one load of white laundry.

I then ran back up the steps...turned on the shower and worked to wake myself up. I jumped out of the shower and began to shave.

Then I saw it.

My face.

Something is very different about me.

I stood and looked.....and looked.

I don't know what the difference is.

But there is one.

Is it age?

Am I seeing the signs of maturity.

Is it because I've become more relaxed than ever?

Is it because I'm happy?

I dunno....

But there is certainly a difference.

A really big one!

The Clock Continues To Tick...

Just got off the telephone with my little girl. The excitement is beginning to set in for her audition for American Idol scheduled for Monday.

My goodness.

I want this so bad for her....because this is HER DREAM to perform.

It's what she went to school for.

She auditioned at a very prestigious music school in Nashville....got in....graduated with honors....and here she is. She is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ready.

All she needs is a little "umph"....to push her into the spotlight and to let other people hear her -- important people -- people with influence -- the gatekeepers of the music industry.

Oh goodness....she just has to get in!

Help me pray! Then when she makes it.....VOTE FOR HER!

A Word From My Co-Worker

Finally heard from "him"...

Things still seem fine...but the way things are going for his schedule and mine, we both agreed that it wouldn't be advantageous for us to get together for dinner until sometime after I return from vacation....which begins on Saturday.

So, I guess we'll see.

I've talked to my mother about this one..... She agrees that I should just take each day as it comes and see how all things play out. She understands my frustrations.....my longings......and all about the secret crushes I have had along the way....but she is hopeful that this one may be a little different. After all, we come from similar backgrounds.....similar ages......work for the same agency....with a similar focus......and we're both gay.....and apparently "available."

So, stay tuned everyone.... I'm just enjoying the fact that I'm having very normal feelings and normal longings.....all for a hot, red-blooded, American, gay male!

AMERICAN IDOL: Here She Comes!

Okay everyone....you gotta help me think positive thoughts.....and you gotta whisper a prayer (if you believe in such things) for #2 on Monday, July 21, 2008.

Why? You may ask...

Well, my daughter, #2, is gonna be doing what she has to do in order to audition for AMERICAN IDOL Season 8!

Yup, I finally talked her in to driving from Nashville to Louisville, KY to audition for this year. She's got the goods. All she needs is an opportunity for folks to hear her. So, I pray that all goes well and that she can at least get an audition.

One drawback is that she has a gig on Saturday. Registration is Saturday and Sunday. So, she won't be able to get her registration materials until sometime on Sunday. Then, she has to get to the venue at some god-awful time on Monday in hopes of having an audition.

So, help me pray....that this opportunity opens up for her.

Check her out on My Space at http://www.myspace.com/lauravancemusic

A Tiring Day...

Today has been seriously busy...nonstop from the moment I came in.

I'm not really complaining, because I enjoy working....and keeping busy. It keeps my mind from wandering....into areas that have been known to trigger sadness....or even depression.

So, I'm staying occupied.

And dreaming of next week when I'm gone on vacation. I'm off to the beach with a gay male couple that I know from church and we're planning a VERY fun time! The resort is swanky, and I haven't been to this particular beach in 35 years. I'm excited about exploring some of the haunts I used to go to as a child. I hear that they are still in existence....so I guess I'm gonna learn about what changes happen over the course of 35 - 40 years!

When I think about it....the last time I was at this beach, I was a heck of a lot younger.... Puberty had just hit and I was all awash in male hormones. I knew that I was gay back then.....but I didn't know how to deal with it.

Now all these years and life experiences later.....I still know that I am gay.....the hormones ebb and flow.......and at times, I still don't know how to deal with it.

I have this fantasy. That one day.....some guy that has been in my life as a friend.....will suddenly wake up.......take me for a romantic walk.......or take me to a romantic dinner.......and then confess that he has deeper feelings for me than he has ever dared to share with me.

And then I melt!

Then we live happily ever after...

Isn't that silly?

I have no idea who this man is mind you..... It wouldn't take long to come up with a list of potential candidates. There's always the mystery man at church that I lhave enjoyed from afar for so very long........or the guy I work with that likes to email me.......who seems to want to do something soon...... The other guys on my list though are living thousands of miles away......or are married or are partnered already......or some combination of the three.

A good friend of mine wrote me a very sweet note today. He ended his note with: "You have friends and family who care about you and you are so genuine that I truly believe good things lie ahead for you."

I know that I do.

But sometimes I get so anxious......and want someone in my life so very badly........I forget.

Oh well....the journey continues.

Sunday Night

It's getting late and I'm ready to turn in for the night, but it has been a great weekend.

My friend from Massachusetts and I had a good time. We went to Dupont Circle on Friday Night...and he got to see things that he hasn't experienced. On Saturday we took the boat ride from Washington to Mount Vernon...and went to a gay bar in Arlington, VA afterwards.

Today, though, he said was the highlight of his trip. He went to church with me and found it to be a safe and loving experience. He is now going to look for a similar congregation near his house.

I hope he is successful, because he really wants to experience what he did this weekend on a more regular basis.

His visit was certainly a tale of how my friendships have been built over time since the separation. I reached out to make friends and expanded beyond my comfort zone, and look at what happened. I have been given so many new friend....and refreshed old friendships. I'm experiencing healthy relationships...male friendships without worry about jumping between the sheets. It just doesn't seem important.

It's amazing.

I am so thankful to have these men in my life.

I am blessed beyond words.

A Busy Friday

This week has been unusually busy on the work front.....and today has been no different. I just now had a few moments and thought I would draft a quick note to all of you.

Thanks to Rick for the reality check on the last post. I was allowing my imagination to conjure up all kinds of scenarios in my mind. When that happens....and when reality clashes with what you have fantasized, immediately you transfer your disappointment to instant self-loathing which, especially in my case, is totally inappropriate. I'm not a bad guy....and if I really don't float the boat of my mystery man here, well then, I'm sure that there will be someone out there for me sometime.

I just need to relax...and enjoy the journey. I have to stop trying to drive the bus.

Last night was an interesting evening.

I was in a foul mood by the time I got home. And I'm not sure why that was. I talked to my mom and told her what I had been saying to some of my other family members. Mother was actually proud of me.

"I worry about you sometimes," she said. "You're just too kind. I'm glad that you let people know what your limits are...it means you have them."

Yeah, I suppose I do keep things in check a lot.

I'm not sure what made me so angry last night...but I was on a roll. I said to one person that I was tired of getting used and taken advantage of. On top of that, I said that I was also tired of being served as leftovers. "I'm FIRST CUT!"

On another front, I have a dear friend from Boston coming down to spend the weekend with me. He's been married for about 20 years, has two kids, and he's gay. He and his wife just separated...and he doesn't know what he is going to do. Part of him wants to be out of the marriage....and the other part wants to stay...just out of sheer comfort. His wife wants him to stay.

So, he's coming down here to relax....and see the sights. I'm taking him on the boat ride down the Potomac to Mt. Vernon tomorrow. Sunday he is going with me to church. Then he goes back home on Sunday afternoon.

Weather-wise, this weekend should be GREAT!

Silence!

I've been so very busy today that I have not had two seconds to myself. BUT...I have been monitoring my cell phone and email to see if the MYSTERY MAN called or wrote.

He certainly didn't drop by the office today.

But, he does seem to prefer to communicate electronically...which is fine. My only concern is that I haven't heard anything from him today.

It makes me wonder if maybe I said too much yesterday and perhaps scared him off.

In any event...it certainly has been fun...to think about the possibilities...and playing little scenarios in my mind -- of how I'd like for feelings to surface....and to be discussed....

Wondering how my kids would respond to him.

Wondering how my parents would respond to him.

Wondering how my friends at church would respond to him.

Wondering how my other relatives would respond to him.

Then I realized something kind of profound. There are no hard and fast rules for gay relationships. We don't have role models. I mean, in the straight world generally the man and woman date.....and then grow serious.....and then become engaged......and get married.

How does all this work for two gay guys with their own houses and careers? At what point does a relationship begin.....and then the dating......and does that mean it's time to move in together.....and have a commitment ceremony.

Gosh, I don't even know if I even want to go that far.

So, here I am with all these thoughts and concerns....and I haven't heard from this man all day. I really have no concrete evidence that he is even giving me second thoughts "that way" other than my gut feeling.

After spending some significant time with him, I should get an idea.....

I've got to be prepared for acceptance or rejection.

The Mystery Man Responds

Well, who knew?

My mystery man sent me two emails today! The first responded to my invitation to share a meal..... He seems excited...and then expanded it to a movie or something else fun here in the area.

I said that I was open to that..... (I then decided to go out on a limb to invite him on a day trip on a Saturday to some places several hours away.)

Almost immediately he responded and said YES!

So, it's just a matter of us comparing schedules and nailing down a firm date for the weekend excursion.

The dinner thingy is sometime before I go on vacation a week from this Saturday.

A wonderful friend of mine says that from the email traffic (I showed it all to him.) it appears that this man is "very interested in getting together with you. I think you'll have a better idea after a night out with just him as to his overall sentiment. However, I really do feel that he likes you..."

If anything does come of this.....I will let all of you know more about him......and introduce you to him. If that happens....you'll know it's for real...

WHEW!

I need to go breathe now.

A Very Long Day At The Office

I'm still at the office.

I'm winding down after a very long day.

Things have been fairly uneventful. Just keeping the paper moving....and trying to help the people who work for me encouraged and motivated to do a good job.

I was a bit surprised this morning to have received an email from someone yesterday (my off day)....here at the office. I didn't read it until today. This someone is somebody that I could very easily fall for.....hook, line, and sinker. He's attractive.....he's a professional..... and he's someone that would be perfect on so many levels...loving.....gregarious.....gentle..... WOW!

Could this be the one I have dreamed about and longed for? The one that won't treat me like leftovers.

Perhaps I'm reading too much into this very innocent email. Still, he took the time to write a few little personal comments that made me feel special...very special. We've spent some time together....shared some meals together.....talked....and laughed. He closed the email by saying that he is looking forward to seeing me again.

So, who knows? (Yes, he confirmed that he is in fact, gay!)

I responded....reservedly to let him know that it was so good to hear from him.....and how pleased I was. (Translated....I'm not desperate.) I invited him to dinner soon -- away from the office and time constraints...in a friendly...non lecherous sort of way as a friend. He stays so busy....and at this point I'm not going to call...or to badger. I'm just going to let this play out....and see where it leads.

This one dropped totally out of nowhere!

My fingers and toes are crossed.....

Could my search be over? Am I ready for a special relationship?

I just don't know. I've met some awfully nice men here recently.... But they are all either partnered already, unhappily married to a woman, or live hundreds of miles away and are a combination of the other two. This is the first actually self-identified, GAY and SINGLE man that I have had the pleasure to get to know.

We'll see.

**GULP**

I'm Now A Great Uncle!

This afternoon at 1:30 p.m. I became a great uncle for the very first time. Bryce Adeline Colton was born in Loudon County, VA. She was seven pounds, seven ounces and was 20 inches long.

I went to see her this evening....and she is simply beautiful.

Gosh, it makes one feel old to be someone's Great Uncle!

BIG NEWS!

Gosh, in all my whining, I forgot to share with you some very important news and this is a BIG deal!

Saturday morning, first thing, I had a doctor's appointment. It's not one of my favorite things, but nonetheless....because of my diabetes, I must go. Usually a couple of days beforehand I have labwork done so that the doctor can see how my kidneys are functioning....and due to all the medications I'm on that can affect the liver, she wants to always see how it's doing. On top of this, she always checks my sugars...to see how they're being managed.

DRUM ROLL PLEASE....

She burst into the examination room to announce that my sugars, for the first time in 15 years, are in the NORMAL range! On top of this, the kidneys are fine....and the liver is fantastic. Finally, the old blood pressure was okay.

Yes, it looks like I'm gonna live!

***APPLAUSE*******

Seriously folks, I'm amazed at how my body has behaved during the stressful time of the final years of the marriage. It felt at times like my body was falling apart. But from the moment of my separation from Lovey, the numbers have been improving....slowly..... and now this!

I am so thankful.

The doctor says that the best revenge that I can have toward the X is to do well....and to be happy.....and to live a long, prosperous and healthy life. (She knows that Lovey always harped about how I never took care of myself....and that I was gonna have a stroke, etc.) Gosh, I want to show her.

Had to share this with you.....thanks for all your kind thoughts and words...

It's Monday...

It's Monday morning, and thankfully I have today off. I loved this lon weekend because it has given me the opportunity to clean the house from where my son had visited. His garbage was all over the place. I hate cleaning up his mess. Next time, I'm establishing ground rules for him to follow....like making sure that his trash goes where it should and not under or behind furniture.

Last night I did something I have never done before. I suppose it's a sign that I'm learning to live again, by myself and without any outside help or interference. As I said in yesterday's post, I have been suffering from a case of the blues since Saturday and my trip to the cemetery. I went to church and spent time with my church friends yesterday. In the evening, I felt like I was smothering from that cloud that hovered over me. That deep longing to be with someone special....to love them....and to be loved by them proved to be just too much for me.

So, I looked online and got the times for the showing of SEX AND THE CITY.

I"ve been trying to get some of my friends to go with me....but they all wrinkle up their noses and say, "Chick flick."

Well, I got myself together and went to the 6:45 p.m. showing. There I sat in the dark, enjoying my popcorn and enjoying myself--being with me. I laughed. I giggled. I chortled. I enjoyed the eye candy in the film.

It was awesome.

I was out of the movie by a little after 9:00 p.m. and decided to walk across the shopping center to a favorite restaurant of mine. I ordered a salad....and sat there.....pondering my life....and watching an attractive gay couple share their meal.

"One day," i told myself. "That's gonna be you...."

That Ache (Again!)

This post is going to cover some familiar territory....but since this is my story....I've committed to share my life as it flows... Sadly, sometimes there are repeats.

I was out and about on Saturday afternoon and decided to visit a couple of graves of some very old friends I had about 20 years ago. The cemetery where they are is lovely and peaceful place....just off a major thoroughfare in the heart of Alexandria. I took my time and walked around.

To be honest, I hadn't spent a lot of time at this cemetery, but since explorin graveyards is a hobby of mine, I had a good time. Now before you get the idea that I'm strange or something, rest assured that I find funerary art to be quite interesting, and reading epitaphs on the various stones from many years ago is liking glimpsing someone's home page.

So, as I walk and look....I love to meditate.

Walking through this particular cemetery, I found myself noticing the number of double graves.....generally a man and a woman...side by side. Occasionally you find a two men together....or two women together. Then, there are those lonely solitary graves.

It struck me...that when I die, at the rate I'm going, I will have no one next to me. After all, I have no one next to me in life now. Why should death be any different?

So, such thoughts gave me the blues. AND...I've had them all day. That horrible ache is still here. The ache to love someone.....the ache to have a companion......the ache to feel whole.

Yup.....it is a dull ache.....that just seems to hover over me.

Day and night.

YUCK.

A Fun Evening

Spent yesterday evening with my gay buds from church. We had a cookout, but due to the rain, we stayed inside and feasted on hamburgers, hotdogs, potato salad, macaroni salad, seven-layer salad, chips, salsa, soda, and for desert we had fresh strawberries on an angel food cake with whip cream.

All very tasty.

We then went our separate ways to watch various fireworks displays. I drove home to watch the Capital 4th on PBS. Since we had seen the rehearsal of that performance the night before down on the national mall, I wanted to see how it differed from the final. It was really good and was shown in high definition.

This morning I have a doctor's appointment and then I return home to continue cleaning this pig sty. ICK.

Hopefully it will all be quiet.

It's Independence Day!

This is Independence Day!

Yup...it's when we celebrate the day that we became independent from England's rule in 1776. It is quite an amazing legacy...

So, as my clothes wash....and I'm doing home chores, I'm sitting here contemplating the whole concept of independence.

As a single gay man, just exactly what day should I use as my "Independence Day?"

Would it be June 9, 2005? After all, that is the day that Lovey separated from me. Although, at the time, I was devestate and felt I could not manage to go forward....I was an independent entity. I didn't know what all that meant, or even if I could function independently...but nonetheless, I was.

Would it be June 20, 2006? That's the day Lovey loaded up her moving van, took all the furniture, and vacated the premises. I was left alone....with my dog and #1 to pick up the pieces and figure out what the next move would be. I remember being so afraid of trying to decorate my house. All my esteem was gone and the years of being told that I had no taste or no sense of color left me as a wreck.

Would it be March 15, 2007? That's the day Lovey and I finally had a separation agreement that was legal and signed. It instituted alimony....and told us that we could behave as "unmarried" people....see people....whatever. That signed document really affected me at the time. It made things concrete...and yes it was all really happening.

Would it be May 29, 2007? That's the day that the divorce became final! How I mourned. It devestated me.

Hmmm....it's now July 4, 2008 and anyway you look at it, I am independent of Lovey and her illustrious family.

It's finally okay!

I am well and happy.

And the thing that I have found that makes it best is the fact that I have a host of wonderful friends that love and care about me. We care for each other. It's not anything we have to earn...it just happens. AND...my sphere of friends continue to expand....and more are welcomed into my midst. I've learned the art of friendship....and it's coming more and more naturally to me.

I'm just sorry I didn't practice this art during the 25.5 years with Lovey.

So, it's Independence Day! Regardless of when I became independent, it's a good day.

And I'm happy to be here!

Stay safe all!

The Day Before a Holiday!

Here I sit in the early morning....waiting for the shirt that I plan on wearing to dewrinkle in the dryer. It has been a wonderful few days and I pray that they continue on.

Since I got my med imbalance straightened out, I feel absolutely fabulous! I have energy and just have an overall sense of wellbeing.

Tonight is the rehearsal for the wonderful 4th of July celebration on the mall in DC that is televised tomorrow night. I'm going with several of my gay friends to park on the lawn and watch the run through. It should be a pleasant evening and I look forwrd to spending time with my buds.

The rest of the weekend is going to be very quiet. I'm working on cleaning the house and getting rid of some junk since I'm having a house guest next Friday for the weekend. We've got several things planned and it will be nice having him around.

I've got massive amounts of laundry to do, including bed linens, towels, my clothes, undies, etc. So, I won't be lacking for a lot to do.

I do plan to write here, so in your holiday festivities, don't forget to check here.

Happy Independence Day!

A Note From Lovey!

"Frank - Do you have time to check out flights for #1 from El Salvador for a Thanksgiving trip? I'm hoping to be home for Thanksgiving, but it probably won't be until the day of -- Thursday. I don't know your plans right now, but I'm guessing you'd like to go with her to WV if possible, and that makes sense so that she can see her grandparents. I might be willing to joing you there IF your folks and you were okay with it. If that doesn't work out, I'd like to have her for a couple of days at my house if she is up to it.

Just trying to think ahead.

Also, I'll be having to videotape my sermons for ordination. I'll now more later. I hope to do the required sermon over the next few months -- possibly August, September and October (if I'm not happy with one of the other two). Would you be interested in doing the taping for me?

Blessings,
LOVEY"

A "Near Miss!"

Well, the stomach thing has passed and so has the sleeplessness.

Both were connected to the fact that I had gone without my thyroid meds for a couple of days…. I felt “ooky.”

Never again will I go without those meds….no matter how inconvenient…or that I feel that “I can do without” for a day or so.

Forget it!

It was awful.

Thankfully I’m now back on track and feeling wonderfully well.

On top of all this I think I have just had a near miss in the love department. Yup….spent some time with a guy who is about 5 years older than me last week. Of course, me being the slow to react kind of person that I am, I played down my attraction to him…..and just followed what some of you have told me to do over time: just be myself….and let the true, caring, loving and gentle Frank show through.

So, I did.

He and I spent a significant hunk of time together. Near the end of his visit he mentioned that he owns a cabin near a resort area about 4 hours away. Would I be interested in going on an overnight there with him sometime?

I looked at him and smiled.

“Sure, “ I said. “I’d love to go.”

Last night he tried calling me a couple of times at home...and left a message. (I was out helping my new Associate Pastor move into his new place.) He also tried my cell phone! The message on my home number that asked I call him on his cell anytime today.

So, I did. We chatted for a while. Near the end of the conversation he said, “Frank, I have to tell you that I really do enjoy you. You’re everything I’ve been looking for. BUT….”

I always hate the “buts”….sometimes they are just breathtaking…. You get zinged…and feel your heart drop through the floor….

This time it wasn’t so bad….

“But….” He continued, “You and I live two hours apart and this is my only concern!”

I answered with a chuckle, “Ah….this is just the story of my life. I always seem to stir the interest of people billions of miles away, or they are married……or they are partnered!”

“Well, if you’d like to get together and we can see how this goes, I’m open,” he said. “I’d still like for you to see my cabin.”

“Great!” I said. “Just let me know what works for you….I’m pretty flexible.”

So, I guess this is a “near miss.”