This week has been unusually busy on the work front.....and today has been no different. I just now had a few moments and thought I would draft a quick note to all of you.
Thanks to Rick for the reality check on the last post. I was allowing my imagination to conjure up all kinds of scenarios in my mind. When that happens....and when reality clashes with what you have fantasized, immediately you transfer your disappointment to instant self-loathing which, especially in my case, is totally inappropriate. I'm not a bad guy....and if I really don't float the boat of my mystery man here, well then, I'm sure that there will be someone out there for me sometime.
I just need to relax...and enjoy the journey. I have to stop trying to drive the bus.
Last night was an interesting evening.
I was in a foul mood by the time I got home. And I'm not sure why that was. I talked to my mom and told her what I had been saying to some of my other family members. Mother was actually proud of me.
"I worry about you sometimes," she said. "You're just too kind. I'm glad that you let people know what your limits are...it means you have them."
Yeah, I suppose I do keep things in check a lot.
I'm not sure what made me so angry last night...but I was on a roll. I said to one person that I was tired of getting used and taken advantage of. On top of that, I said that I was also tired of being served as leftovers. "I'm FIRST CUT!"
On another front, I have a dear friend from Boston coming down to spend the weekend with me. He's been married for about 20 years, has two kids, and he's gay. He and his wife just separated...and he doesn't know what he is going to do. Part of him wants to be out of the marriage....and the other part wants to stay...just out of sheer comfort. His wife wants him to stay.
So, he's coming down here to relax....and see the sights. I'm taking him on the boat ride down the Potomac to Mt. Vernon tomorrow. Sunday he is going with me to church. Then he goes back home on Sunday afternoon.
Weather-wise, this weekend should be GREAT!
1 comment:
Frank;
There was a post a while back on our mutual email list – a poem with the repeating line “let it go”, do you remember it? I know that I have to repeat that line very often. It really helps me be content with what is in my life. The week end you have planned sounds like it can be very rewarding – sharing the journey of coming to terms with our dual need for our family and our sexuality.
Rick
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