No, I've not fallen off the face of the earth!
I've just returned from a full week in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina with a gay male couple who have become very dear friends of mine. It was nice to get away....and to explore a place where I have not been in 35 years! I took loads and loads of pictures!
I found the beach that I played at all those years ago.....the hotel we stayed in.....the roller coaster that fascinated me.......and so many other sites and sounds and smells. It was wonderful.
We stayed at a high rise condo right on the beach.....we were on the 15th floor and had a balcony that faced the Atlantic Ocean. What a stupendous view....
I was able to pray.....and to meditate.....and to think on things. It helped to center me....and to bring a whole lot of focuse to my life.
Although there is a tremendous need deep inside of me that longs to have a boyfriend.....a fulltime one......one that is monogamous......and well adjusted.....drama free..... And, yes, even though I think I have found the prime candidate....at the office, I can't say for sure that it really is going to work.
I've received so many mixed signals from him.... I just can't get a handle on it to actually know what it is he is trying to convey. While I was gone, I got three messages from him....all brief.....none very confirming.....just "Hi....hope you're getting rest.....blah...blah" kinds of notes.
So, I have arrived at a conclusion.
Why do I have to be the one always initiating some sort of romantic entanglement with someone? For once, why can't it emanate from the other side of things? If the man is truly interested in me...then he's going to have to let me know.
I'm tired of the games....and trying to figure out what's going on.
It's silly.
So, instead of making up excuses to drop by his office...or to call or to email......I'm just going to let it be.
Let's see what happens.
I'm not really expecting a lot......
3 comments:
Frank:
You are wise beyond our years.
However, as one needy person to another, I say that if you can hold yourself to it, and not break down after a day or two and go back to trolling for attention, you are a better man than I.
But we both know that's the way you get what you want: let it/them/him come to YOU.
Good luck.
Keep reminding yourself WHY.
T@C
There is nothing more attractive than that which we cannot have. Stand firm to your goal of letting him come to you. It doesn't hurt to be flirty to others either. Good luck!
I'm glad that you had such a good time on your vacation. I know it had to be good to relax and also to have time to think and meditate. Remember that sometimes things happen when you least expect them to! I'm wishing you the best...
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