It's Independence Day!

This is Independence Day!

Yup...it's when we celebrate the day that we became independent from England's rule in 1776. It is quite an amazing legacy...

So, as my clothes wash....and I'm doing home chores, I'm sitting here contemplating the whole concept of independence.

As a single gay man, just exactly what day should I use as my "Independence Day?"

Would it be June 9, 2005? After all, that is the day that Lovey separated from me. Although, at the time, I was devestate and felt I could not manage to go forward....I was an independent entity. I didn't know what all that meant, or even if I could function independently...but nonetheless, I was.

Would it be June 20, 2006? That's the day Lovey loaded up her moving van, took all the furniture, and vacated the premises. I was left alone....with my dog and #1 to pick up the pieces and figure out what the next move would be. I remember being so afraid of trying to decorate my house. All my esteem was gone and the years of being told that I had no taste or no sense of color left me as a wreck.

Would it be March 15, 2007? That's the day Lovey and I finally had a separation agreement that was legal and signed. It instituted alimony....and told us that we could behave as "unmarried" people....see people....whatever. That signed document really affected me at the time. It made things concrete...and yes it was all really happening.

Would it be May 29, 2007? That's the day that the divorce became final! How I mourned. It devestated me.

Hmmm....it's now July 4, 2008 and anyway you look at it, I am independent of Lovey and her illustrious family.

It's finally okay!

I am well and happy.

And the thing that I have found that makes it best is the fact that I have a host of wonderful friends that love and care about me. We care for each other. It's not anything we have to earn...it just happens. AND...my sphere of friends continue to expand....and more are welcomed into my midst. I've learned the art of friendship....and it's coming more and more naturally to me.

I'm just sorry I didn't practice this art during the 25.5 years with Lovey.

So, it's Independence Day! Regardless of when I became independent, it's a good day.

And I'm happy to be here!

Stay safe all!