Second Banana Syndrome

I have a case of the blues this morning. It's not helping for this to be such a gloomy and rainy looking day.

Not sure where all this came from.

It's probably from the fact that I had another one of those "Frank" moments on Monday. I spent time with a good friend who lives about 100 miles from me. He's going through a divorce. He's quite younger than me. Then he told me all about his hookups...and how he just can't get enough.

I could relate...

It's called "gay adolescence."

He's going through the exciting period of coming out and discovering himself...and the world of male sex.

He has also met "the love of his life."

That's all he talked about.

His "love" was at work....is 29...about 14 years younger. He kept texting him back and forth. "Wonder if he is thinking of me..." he said incessantly.

Ah...new love.

It's exhillarating.....it makes your heart beat faster.....It's wondrous....

It has been a very long time since Frank has felt this way with someone who felt that way back and it is all catching up with me.

Monday night I met up with a "crush". He wanted to have dinner with me before he left on vacation for Florida. He's the guy that kissed me at gay pride...full on the mouth....in front of his wife....told me that he wanted to spend more time with me.....blah...blah.

We met for dinner...with his wife! She wants to get to know me better. He's making plans for me to see his new house upon their return on August 1. But we go through many periods of non communicating.....he reads my FACEBOOK page....he knows the distance between my house and his new one.....he likes my pictures.....they asked me tons of questions....etc.

But I am beginning to feel that "second banana syndrome." I feel like the perpetual best friend....always the bridesmaid never a bride.

What am I doing wrong?