I Almost Let the Cat Out of the Bag

Happy Monday to all of you. I am off today trying to get some things cleaned up around my house.... Yesterday was quite an adventure for me....

I spent the day traveling to a town not far from where Lovey lives. I had to attend a wake of a lady that I have known for quite sometime and could not talk my daughter into driving with me. (She had a cookout to attend...)

So, I thought of one of my crushes. Actually he not only is someone I have had a secret crush for for many, many, years....but he is a dear friend that I love deeply. The only thing is he is totally clueless as to the depths of my feelings for him. After church yesterday, I called him up to see if he was doing anything. I casually mentioned that I was getting ready to drive the long distance to attend the wake in the late afternoon....and that I would not be returning until late that night.

I invited him to go along! I never imagined that he would do this. He stays quite busy with his life...and his boyfriend. But, to my surprise, he was all for going with me. "After all the stuff you do for me," he said, "It would be my pleasure to spend some time with you."

So, off we were. Traffic was a mess.....and I wound up taking the scenic route on some long and winding roads. The trip to the wake was filled with chit chat......and my GPS system...... We talked and laughed.

I told him about my "doable" story. He roared. I also told him another story involving some friends of miine who sent me for 4 cans of crisco for an impromptu fisting party they were throwing. (That's a story for another day.....trust me....) No, I did not get into fisting, but I was roped into photographing it for them! UNREAL. But my friend and I laughed and laughed about it. I said I would never look at CRISCO in the same way again.....and he kept reminding me that I was highly doable.

We had another laugh when, here in the middle of red-neck estates, two gay guys (us) pull into the mighty crowded funeral home and as we found a parking spot, there was a man in a baseball cap and a girl making out big time by his pick up....right there in front of god and everyone....within shouting distance of the corpse's on display. When we parked.....we roared again!

"Get a room!" we said in unison.

As luck would have it, we ran into Lovey almost first thing. She gave me "that" look. The one that seemed to say, "oh my goodness, you brought your boyfriend with you..."

I introduced her to Dan. I could tell that she was making all kinds of assumptions..... We proceeded into the viewing room. Dan was right behind me. I turned back and said..."she thinks you and I are a couple."

Dan said, "And you are not going to do or say anything to correct her!"

"But...." and he shsssshed me.

We viewed the body.....signed the register, I filled out a slip of paper giving the family a little memory of the decesaed that I had...... I was then ambushed by a host of people I had not seen in a very long time. I did not noticed that Dan had disappeared.

So after I had spent about 20 minutes offering condolences to various and sundry people.....I was ready to go.

Dan was no where to be found.

I walked out to the parking lot....and he wasn't there.

I looked on the front porch of the mortuary....and he wasn't there....

I went back into the viewing area and there he was.....sitting on a comfy couch.........with.....LOVEY!

So he got up and made room for me to sit next to her. (Did he really have to do that?) He then said that he had to find the men's room, but would be back. He then ased me if I was doing okay and as he did so he gave me one of those loving...concerned look that a boy friend would give to another.

I could have clobbered him.

He disappeared....and Lovey then started chirping away about all the people she had seen. She couldn't remember some folks' names...and I reminded her.

I then made a comment about how we needed to get going. Lovey wanted to know if we had dinner plans....she hadn't gotten to have dinner..... But she didn't want to horn in on any special plans that Dan and I had.

I told her that I would check with him....

As if almost on cue, he reappeared....and I looked at him and said, "Lovey wants to know if she can join us for dinner!"

"Certainly," Dan said....rubbing my shoulder.

So not long afterwards there he and I -- the happy couple -- sat across from Lovey, having a wonderful steak dinner. She then asked about how long we had known each other.....and other little chit-chat. Internally, I was mortified.

Dan kept answering all the questions good naturedly.....where he was from......what kind of work he did......how hard it was for him to keep Frank out of trouble......how glad he was that Frank was in his life......

Oh my goodness.

I felt like I was in an episode of "I Love Lucy."

Then it was time to head home. Dan actually hugged and kissed Lovey goodbye....and off we were....heading back up the long and winding country road home in the summer darkness.

After all that, I decided to just be quiet. I did not know what to say. I was afraid to say anything actually....for fear of saying something inappropriate.

I concentrated on the road.

Mortification was setting in full force.

Dan then started talking....about how good his relationship with Scott is. How compatible they are. How great the sex is. I told Dan that I was very happy for him.

Then he said something that made my heart skip a beat....."I'm not sure though that he is the one for me for a lifetime though. There are areas that give me reason to pause."

"Oh?" I said...trying to be nonchalant.

I really wanted to tell him how our little charade really made me feel. How perfect it felt....how he actually completed and verbalized thoughts I was thinking......how proud I felt to have him there with me......and how perfectlly he handled Lovey."

"What are the qualities you are looking for in a lifetime partner, Dan? What would that look like if you could define it?"

He then began describing me...

I chuckled.

And I almost told him.....

but I lost my nerve.

Just then his cellphone went off....and it was Scott.

The car sped on through the summer night.