Another Little Victory!

Wednesday Night I had the honor of leading a Men's Bible Study for my new church. I hosted this event in my home.

The reason this was such a big deal is that I had not done such a thing in many, many years. I'd say that I hadn't led anything on this level since my marriage started its long slide to demise back in 2000 or so.

Why?

I guess in looking back on things, I just didn't have the energy to compete with Lovey and her ministry. Everything was about her. She exhausted me. In some respects it was like a leach. She would start in on religion, God, the Bible, from the moment she awoke until she closed her eyes at night. I was so tired of it. She made it feel like a competition of who was more spiritual.

When something like this happens, I tend to shut down. So, my spiritual life went down the tubes. It was simply awful.

It made my self esteem crumble....and wrecked my overall self-confidence.

So it was with great trepidation I agreed to host and to lead this month's DiMENsions Bible Study.

I created the lesson from scratch, like I did in the old days. I put it into outline form. I read from the Bible. Generally when I used o lead a study back then, I would find a passage of scripture and discuss it in the context of how it practically applies in life...most generally about something I was dealing with.

One of the main thingss I've been dealing with during the past two years is FEAR. And so, I took my text from I John 4.

It was an awesome study...one that ministeered to me as much as any of the other men there.

We studied the Bible over Pizza, veggies, and soda.

And the men talked.

They spoke of the times when they have been most afraid.

And how those moments revealed just how strong they were and how most of the times the thing that was feared most never came to be.

They also discussed the topic in terms of being a gay man -- a Christian gay man and just how much strength it takes to be bold and to come out and go against the current of mainstream Christianity and society to live your life as a whole human being.

I said that I just don't understand why it is that just because a person can make a strong emotional connection with another person of the same gender, it's a sin....it's wrong.....it's an abomination. Especially when we are commanded to love one another. What does it matter where the body parts slam into each other?

It's probably because of society's and the mainline church's fear of something outside the box of their brand of Christianity.