Impatience

Okay…

Why can’t I just get over this?

Why does the least little development in this silly separation/divorce always result in the profound sadness that has me in a funk for days on end?

Why does the sound of Lovey’s voice feel like a pair of tweezers digging into scabs or wounds that are trying desperately to heal?

Why do I have the feelings of failure?

Why do I want to beat myself up?

Why do I feel like that my life is a never ending drama?

When I’m in a large group of people, why do I feel so all alone?

The end of this awful nightmare is coming up…..and I need to just get myself together. I need to get my act together. I need to pick myself up. I need to dust myself off. I need to begin weighing my options.

I need to let people know that I love them.

I need to relax.

I need to calm myself.

I am NOT a failure.

I am a competent human being.

I need to hold my head up high….and to begin to love me.

To embrace me.

To see my value.

To realize that this segement of my life will be over. It ain’t ever gonna come back.

And….it’s only a segment of my life…..it’s not my life.