I go back to the office tomorrow after having had 4 days off.
I had no set agenda. I had nothing that I absolutely HAD to do. So, I spent my time doing little odd jobs around the house. Cleaning patio furniture. Rinsing off the deck. Putting the furniture on the deck and trying to get it ready for the summer season, which has finally reached the Washington DC Metro area! Yippee!
Spring and Summer are my most favorite times of the year. Fall and Winter are the most depressing to me.
So, I have spent a good deal of time just thinking about things in my life. Wondering about the future. Contemplating the past.
I think I've shared with you that one of the most important facets of my life is my spirituality. I had a good time at church this past Sunday. I've been asked to help serve communion on Father's Day...which I consider to be a high honor. At the Methodist Church I was never asked to do anything like that....or, come to think of it, even do a reading or make an announcement...or anything. Lovey did everything!
But at MCC, I seem to be finding my voice. I'm slowly finding my place.... And, I'm learning some stuff about Frank.
First, this is the only time in my church experiences that I have been able to become active in a church and be authentic. They're getting a dose of the real Frank, warts and all. And, in all that, they seem to still love me.
As I've transitioned in this church, and I've found that I can be me with the walls down, I seem to have uncovered an untapped reservoir of love and compassion for others -- not something that I was aware that I had. It just seems to well up in me at the oddest times....and and sweeps over me.
I find myself looking forward to going to church every week and being with my new friends. Feeling their love and receiving big bear hugs from them because they are glad to see me means more than I can ever begin to say.
I'm learning to trust my instincts. Lovey always said she believed that I had the gift of discernment. I believe she is right....and I'm working to enhance that gift.
Yes, I'm working on me....quite a job. But I think the end result is going to be much better than I ever imagined possible.
At least after I make it passed the final speed bump of this awful journey I've been on: the final divorce decree signed by the judge.
Staytuned.
1 comment:
Having a place where you can be authentic really does help. That should be church, but as you well know, for all too many of us our churches are not such places. How sad. I'm really glad this is working out for you.
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