I've seen the responses that two people have posted to my blog today. I've also received some comments back channel.
The internalized homophobia I seem to be dealing with now at this juncture seems to be a fairly common occurrence among us fomerly married queer people. In my own little smug way, I thought I was over that. I thought I was accepting of myself....and of my longings.
But apparently not.
So, is that two or three giant steps backward on this journey???
Maybe more.
So here I sit a bit blue... I haven't been here in quite a while! I guess that is some progress...overall.
When I compare where I am now with this time last year....well, you know. You've been there with me. It hasn't always been pretty, has it?
1 comment:
Frank;
I do not think it is two or three giant steps backwards at all! I think that to recognize that our society infects us gay men (especially those of us that have married) with a chronic case of internalized homophobia is at least one giant step forward. I for one am not sure that we ever totally “get over that”, which is why it is so insidious. However, I think that as long as we are aware of that, we can keep a watchful eye out, we can catch ourselves when we start believing the lies of homophobia, and can take corrective action.
One of the great things about this adventure we call life is that we are always a work in progress. And while at some points we may think that we are taking steps backwards, that is really not the case, for when we realize the truth about the fact that we have deluded ourselves is when we take the greatest steps forward.
I’d compare it more to you accepting your diagnosis of diabetes. Yes it hit you over the head, and that hurt. But then you knew what was causing your symptoms. You could go on a treatment plan. No there is not a cure at present but with the proper diagnosis you can follow an effective treatment and minimize the symptoms so that you not just feel but are much healthier. Same goes for a diagnosis of homophobia.
Rick
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