A Wonderful Evening After All

I have to tell you: yesterday was rough!

The emotional pain surfaced and was indescribable. All I can say was that it cut to the core of my being in a way that no one can really relate to unless you have been there.

Yesterday, mid-afternoon, Lovey called my cellphone. Yikes, in the midst of all I was going through, she was the LAST person I needed to talk to. So, I switched the ringer off on my cellphone. Sure enough, she left a message.

Before the end of the day, I decided to play my messages, and there was Lovey in all her cheery glory calling to say thanks about her birthday card I sent her. (She sent me one and came to the bash, so I returned the favor.) She then went on to say that she had not been able to talk with our son and wanted to know what was up with him.

She then shared that she was dealing with a lady from our mutual past and wanted to fill me in on that.

So, just as I was ready to leave my office for the day, I got up the nerve to return the call. Thankully it went to voice mail and I left a brief message.

So, I've not heard anything fruther from her.

After I was done with all that, my son called to say that he had set up my new grill and could I bring a couple of steaks home and fix dinner to eat on the deck/patio.

"Sure," I said.

What a neat way to christen the new grill and open the deck/patio for the summer! So I marinated the T-bones and threw them on the grill....with garlic mashed potatos (the marine's favorite), salad, corn on the cobb, hot rolls, butter, and then we had fresh strawberries for dessert.

Following all that food, he and I spent an hour talking in the growing darkness of a late spring evening.

I listened as he spoke of his mother in less than glowing terms. How he felt about her "walking out." AND how he felt that she didn't just walk out on his dad, but he feels she walked out on all the family. He also shared some conversations that he had had with her....at at one point he told her basically that she had gotten what she wanted...so she needed to be happy with her choices.

It was a good conversation.....not that we spoke of Lovey......but that he actually opened up to me....and let me see and feel the hurts he has experienced. This big, stoic, marine has had some real hurts inflicted by Lovey.......just as we all have. It hurts me to hear him speak of his pain.

But there isn't a thing I can do. The pain he feels, is akin to my pain. You can't ignore it......you can't tunnel under it.......drive around it.....or fly over it.

You just have to go right through the middle of it.

Embrace the pain.

It will pass.

I think.