I'm a little blue today.
This is probably not helped by the cool grayness of the day outside.
I'm not depressed....because as I have said so many times before, that word is way overused. It can mean a myriad of maladies -- not to mention clinical depression, which is very serious.
The correct word for my feelings today is just overall sadness. It's not the earthquaking....mindbreaking kind, but just one of those kind of days where you wish you were someone else....in another locations.........and to camouflage your problems and wish them out of existence.
My mood is not helped by the serious illness of a four year old relative of mine in the Atlanta area. He kept complaining about how his legs hurt....and he had a stomach ache. They finally took him to is pedatrician only to find that he has got a very bad form of cancer that has spread throughout his little body. He's not going to make it. His family is distraught.....I'm devestated. It came from out of left field!
Then, tomorrow is the first anniversary of my divorce. I'm wistful. While I believe that I am so much better off than to be tangled with Lovey as I was three years ago....there's still that familiar feeling of aloneness that settles in at such times. I have no one to lean on....no one to tell my dreams to.....no one to curl up beside......no one to help me make decisions.
It's just me....
and my dog.
1 comment:
So sorry to hear of your young guy and his family getting caught with this disease – it really puts our mortality in perspective.
As I contemplated a potential divorce (I guess it is still possible in our case but a lot less immanent than it was a few months ago) and then the realization that I would be in a similar situation to yours; I mused that I would paradoxically not be in the emotional place to form a new partnered relationship until I was totally OK without one. Only then would I be emotionally open to a new partner to give him the kind of support that he deserved.
Rick
Post a Comment