Coming back from a retreat always leaves me wistful.
I seem to have this burning desire to grow closer to God and to live my life in a pleasing manner before him. But several things cause me to struggle: my religious background is not typical of those who have been involved in mainline denominations. So, I guess that is why I’m so comfortable being a part of the MCC of Northern Virginia. A vast majority of those people are like me. BUT…we do have those folks who have been to seminary that tend to be a bit condescending and rigid and controlling.
I was shocked to learn this firsthand this week.
BUT…
Those kinds of people are in every church on the planet.
So, why am I surprised? I mean really?
The bad thing about it is that it really affected me in negative ways. I mean, here I am cruising a warp speed…enjoying the blessings of God when all of a sudden….BAM….this woman appeared in my life to be a damper.
We agreed that she would provide a written document for me to review concerning something……and it has been a number of days. She’s not bothered to get it to me yet. So, I’ve got a sprig of mistrust about her….and just a tad of resentment and anger. Just enough to make my life interesting at this church I love so deeply.
I hide my feelings well……and in this case, I’ve done a yeoman’s job. No one knows that anything is wrong or that FRANK is “bent out of shape.”
These are my own little foxes I must deal with.
I must be careful that they don’t spoil my vine.
Last evening I had aanother extended talk with my newest friend. He’s a minister that lives several states away and he is dealing with coming out, wanting to separate, and coming out to his kids. He has had a painful past and I really want to grab him and give him a bearhug to say, “It’s all right. You’re gonna do fine.”
But, due to distance, I can’t do that….so I need to keep him in my prayers.
He sounds very nice……with a gentle and quiet spirit. I’d love to hear him preach sometime.
He and I have so much in common…it’s spooky.
1 comment:
We all have insecurities and we foist them on to others in various ways. Clergy-types can be the worst, sometimes. Usually very insecure, often throwing around seminary education as some sort of spiritual superiority.
It's a crock. Just be. Clergy are highly over-rated.
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