Emergence

Spring is finally here. The weather has changed. It’s warm again. The trees are blooming. Flowers are in their full color.

And the pollen….oh that pollen……that AWFUL pollen is everywhere!

I’ve been popping Allegra pills like candy. Nasonex and Asteline are my nose’s constant companions. Although my allergies have caused me to almost lose my voice, you’re not going to hear any complaints from me. I love Spring and Summer. They are my seasons.

Everything is alive and beautiful.

The long cold dark night of winter is over.

When I was a kid in Mrs.Welty’s second grade class, we learned about caterpillars spinning cocoons and becoming butterflies. I was so amazed at how that happened.

Just think….an ugly brownish gray caterpillar weaves a cocoon around itself – a structure that could be likened to that of a closet – and it stays there. It stays there until the time is right. At that moment, instinctively it breaks through its confines and bursts from the darkness into the daylight. It has changed into a beautiful butterfly with vivid colors. No longer does it have to slowly crawl along a stem or leaf for nourishment, but it now has breathtakingly beautiful wings that lets it soar! It can fly from leaf to leaf!

I can relate to all these concepts.

Very well.

I’ve spent a very long night in the coldness of separation and divorce. I’ve been stifled in my closet of regret and fear about my gayness.

My cold dark night of separation and divorce is ending.

Instinctively, I know it’s time to break free of the confines of my close of regret and fear.

It’s time to leave the darkness behind and soar majestically into the daylight of the rest of my life.

No longer must I crawl through my life to seek the nourishment of affirmation.

I am me.