More On Lovey

As the day has progressed, I've gathered a little bit more information about Lovey's condition.

I've had to be somewhat of a peacemaker today, because the twins are sort of having a little drama right now. #2 in Nashville has been almost flip with her sister in El Salvador when discussing their mom. #1 finds this terribly disrepectful and is a bit miffed with her sister.

However, #2's points aren't without merit.

Let me provide a bit of background.

Lovey has an extensive medical history. Sadly, we all believe her to be a hypochondriac. My ongoing struggle with being gay only added to my guilt for her various aches and pains. I felt deeply responsible. After all, if I were meeting all of her needs, she would not have to seek affirmation from a host of medical people.

During our separation, Lovey told me once that she was expecting to be "healed" once the divorce was final...because living with me caused all of her medical problems.

So, yours truly had a whole boat load of issues to deal with.

In her last full year of marriage and under my health plan, she had over 90 medical visits and procedures in a 12-month period. In the first five months of this year, before our divorce, she logged almost 50.

Lovey also likes to self diagnose. She loves to talk about all of her medical problems....the various procedures....and the hose of medicenes she is on. In case you were wondering, she's totally behind CYMBALTA.

So, it is from this background that daughter #1 is somewhat dubious of this mysterious malady that has Lovey hospitalized.

"She probably provided her doctor with one of her self-diagonoses, Dad. You know how she is."

Yes, sadly I do.

It's akin to the boy crying wolf one time too many. I don't like to cast judgment....or make light of what's happening to Lovey now, but I'm left to wonder several things:

1) She has been grousing to #2 about how she (Lovey) is always shortchanged in the amount of time she gets to spend with her children during the holidays. She even did this from her hospital bed last evening. #2 is headed there this weekend and wants to head back for a hot date. Lovey wasn't pleased.

2) I get the impression that all is not peachy keen deluxe in the churches Lovey is pastoring.

3) I find the timing of these various maladies interesting. Here it is Christmas, and Lovey is in the hospital.

Could she be looking for sympathy? Might she be feeling intensely lonely? Could she be feeling a bit of remorse as to the breakup of her family and be haunted by thoughts of Christmas celebrations of years passed?

Could be.

#1 asked if I was concerned. I responded by saying that I was concerned...but that I had to figure out the right track to follow. This, after all, is brand new territory. Were I still married to her, I'd be at her bedside with a boat load of care and compassion and unconditional love. This is how I handled her during the marriage.

But now, since I've heard of Lovey's health problems all second hand, I'm not going to be breaking down her door to find out all the particulars. If she wants me to know, she can call and then we can have a discussion. But, I can care and be concerned from a distance. If this is a ploy for sympathy and attention, I won't give her fodder of condition her to do this on a regular basis for more.

Am I mean?

I don't think so.

It's just that I know her so very well and I suspect she's dealing with some serious psychological issues this year, that perhaps she's not had the time to ponder.

At any rate, the doctors say that Lovey has got some elevated enzyme levels from her liver. They're keeping her another night for observation. Hopefully she will get to come home in time tomorrow for #2 to visit this weekend.

So, stay tuned.

As of this writing, I'm doing very well and continue to look forward to the holidays. I plan to have a quiet Christmas with my daughter and then I'm open for discussion.

I'm looking for many happy days ahead.