Independence Day 2007

Independence Day began quietly.

I awoke at 8am and took my son to the neighborhood IHOP for breakfast. Afterwards, he went off with his friends, and I stayed home to clean the house and to run a few errands.

I was invited to dinner at one of my former sisters-in-law’s homes for a cookout. So, I stirred up the gumption to go.

I showed up at the appointed time. All the usual suspects were there including the dentist and Lovey. Lovey spent a whole hunk of time talking to me about her visit to Nashville and other things going on in her family’s life. (The dentist has 3 grown children of his own….why he spends so much time with the O’Lovey’s and not with his kids is beyond me. All I know is that if I had my 3 kids in the area, I’d spend as much time with them as possible.)

I then visited with the other people who were there including Mom O’Lovey, her sister, my former brothers-in-law, the dentist and two of Lovey’s sisters that were present.

We gathered around the food. From previous experiences, I knew that the blessing would not be far behind. As it happened, Lovey was standing directly to my left. I just knew that she would not want to hold my hand during the blessing.

I was right.

Just before Mom O’Lovey suggested that someone offer thanks, Lovey moved further around the circle of people. I wound up holding Mom O’Lovey’s hand with one of mine and one of Lovey’s sisters in the other. At the AMEN, Mom O’Lovey squeezed my hand tightly and held on for a few seconds.

Two tables were set on the spacious deck. Lovey was the first person on the deck with her food. She went to the first table. As it happened, I was the second person onto the deck, but I went to the second table. Soon, my two former brothers-in-law joined me, along with Mom O’Lovey. At her table, Lovey had the company of her two sisters, her aunt, and the dentist.

Lovey had to leave the festivities early to return to her home in the Shenandoah Valley. She started saying her goodbyes and was hugging people. I remained seated…because I didn’t have a clue as to what the protocol was in this situation.

Not to worry – Lovey solved the problem. She came over to me….gave me a big hug and kissed my left cheek. Now, that was something!

I talked to my daughter in Nashville on my way home afterwards. She sounded greatly relieved that I had joined the O’Lovey family for the picnic.

So, in another sign of growth, I shared a meal with “them”…I was relaxed and not stressed. I didn’t do or say anything in appropriate. Typically I don’t…and throughout the marriage I didn’t….(I don’t think.). I surprised myself at just how much at ease I felt. I felt nothing even remotely close to hurt or sadness. If I had to some up what I was feeling, I would probably say that I was a little bit wistful.

It was a fun evening to celebrate independence…..of our country….and mine.

(I think I’m healing.)