Phone Calls In the Night

Have you ever been awakened in the middle of the night by the unnerving jingle of the telephone?

I have – on many occasions.

As a parent, I’ve heard from homesick tykes who wanted to come home from a sleepover in the middle of the night. I’ve had my parents to call me in the wee hours of the morning to share the news of the death of a loved one. My son has called me to let him in the front door because he had lost the front door key.

When the phones rings like that – in the dark – in the stillness of the night, I put my hand on the receiver and pause…whisper a prayer for strength and courage and answer with “Hello?”

Yesterday morning in the wee hours my telephone rang.

“Hello?” I said.

#2 was on the other end.

“Hi Daddy! I just wanted you to know that I got back to Nashville safely from my vacation to Colorado. I had a lot of fun, but I knew you’d be concerned.” She said.
“Please go back to sleep and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

She was right. I was worried about her. I was glad she was home safe.

So I hung up the phone and rolled over and went back to sleep.

A few hours later, the telephone rang again.

This time it was one of those telephone calls that have a serious impact on you.

It was my son who said, “Well Dad, I need to tell you something. You might be a grandpa.”

Oh goodness.

It wasn’t planned. It was an accident. He doesn’t want to marry the girl. But he does want to take care of his child.

But goodness me….this is my baby boy…..telling me that he may have a baby.

And now I’ve reached that stage in life where someone will refer to me as “Grandpa.”

It makes me wonder where all the time went.

What happened to that little blond boy I once had?

For the last 7 years I’ve been so wrapped up in the demise of my marriage and my gay issues, my youth vanished. And here I sit entering a new stage of life – being someone’s Grandpa.

It awakens all those feelings in me….of longing….. You see, I have no one to share this all with. Or someone to hug and be close to to celebrate a possible new little life with. Oh, the circumstances are less than ideal. But it’s still the potential beginning of a new member of my family….and I want he/she to know that his/her paternal grandpa loves them beyond words.

I just wish I had a spouse/partner to share it with.

I hope to hear something definite…one way or the other soon. The marine is not ready for parenthood…and he’s headed to Iraq at the end of September.

Oh goodness….why now?