I am at work as I write this. It is so very cold outside….and gray. Weather predictions indicate another snowstorm is headed this direction and will strike either tonight or sometime tomorrow. It looks like I am going to get snowed in.
That should help me get the energy up to at least tear down the Christmas tree and all those decorations. For me to do this is a first. Normally the kids enjoyed putting up the decorations and the tree and tearing them down. The girls especially loved to do that. Within an hour or so, you’d never know that there was a tree ever in our midst!
It’s going to take me a little longer though…
I know me.
I’ll look at each decoration and remember it.
I get a knot in my stomach just thinking about this horrible task.
Yes, Frank still has some residual issues to deal with. The Christmas decorations….the snowstorm……the cold….the gray…..all have conspired against me to expose these feelings that I must still deal with.
I shouldn’t be upset with myself. After all, when you look at how far I’ve come, well, really it’s amazing. I’ve survived. And I’m healthy.
I just need to remember to count my blessings.
This is so silly.
It’s just snow.
It’s just a Christmas tree and colored lights, ribbons, bows and doo-dads.
God, I need to grow up.
I need to shut off those old memories and think of the new ones I made this year….the new friends….the new things I did…….and get psyched about the new adventures that await in this new year.
It’s no time to get melancholy and sad.
My life is far from over. I’m not yet 50.
AND, I have four days off from work! To get things done.
Get with the program, Frank!
4 comments:
It's hard to take something some pretty and festive down. The reason may be that when it's finished you just see the empty area where it once sat.
Frank, Please don't feel you are alone. God is with you. And your blog is a blessing - I check it out every day. All the best in 2008. Memories are good; don't let them get you down!
It's ok to reflect, the past should get it's due respect, just don't let it linger or bring you down. You're in control, for example if you know it might bring you down, counter it with a funny movie or go out somewhere you enjoy or spend time with a friend or something. (That's my suggestion!)
You know that it's not very bad right now considering what you've been though...most would be overjoyed with that really, i'd say you have it pretty good at the moment...
I'm with you, brother. Me, too. Wish I could come and help you keep warm!
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