Here We Go Again!

Well y’all.

It’s happened.

Someone has begun to show interest in old Frank here.

Yup.

It’s true!

The real funny thing about all this is that in the midst of just keeping on my happy face…and going about my daily business, I hadn’t realized that it would/could happen.

Well, apparently it now has.

Shouldn’t I be happy you may wonder?

I guess I would be ordinarily, but there is just a slight problem here.

The interested party is a woman!

EEK!

Gosh this has certainly stirred up a lot of very old and I must say, forgotten memories of what it was like with Lovey.

The same old butterflies exist.

That same old sick feeling in the pit of my stomach is still right where it has always been.

Here’s some background information.

Let’s call her Jane.

About nine years ago, Jane and her son became a close family friend. She was divorced and her son was interested in #1. They dated for about 2-3 months. So, Jane was constantly in my house.

She and I became fast friends. However, I caught little glimmers of resentment she had for Lovey. When Lovey would make certain comments or exhibit certain behaviors to me, I’d catch this woman rolling her eyes or shaking her head.

Even at a holiday celebration that year my mother said to me, “Frank, you need to keep an eye on Jane. I believe she has a big time crush on you.”

I laughed it off.

I guess I was in my gay, feeling ugly, sorry-for-myself phase.

When I went with #2 and Mom O’Lovey to Christmas Eve church at the church we all once attended, Jane was the first to greet me.

“I’m so sorry about how much you have been through. It’s hard. I know. Let’s get together after the holidays and have dinner!”

I sputtered….and said…”Well, Jane, give me a call and we can see if we can schedule something.”

So now, she has called and left a message at my house. Thankfully I wasn’t there to receive the call…..I do spend a lot of time away from the phone, but still. Jane is making it clear that she is “interested” in me.

I need to return the call.

However, the great thing about all this is I am a bit older and a whole lot wiser than I was when I was in the “God-can-change-me….all-I-need-is-a-woman phase.”

Still, I’m amazed at the feelings I am experiencing…especially the fear…..

Gosh, as I near the age of 50, you’d think this would be easier as time goes on.