Helping Out A Friend

It looks like there are some common themes that run through the lives of us gay, formerly married men.

I know that I've been zinged by a few well meaning readers who say that I write more about Lovey than I do about myself....or that it's time to "snap out of it."

But tonight, I got to chat with someone that is going through a lot of the same things that I have been going through.

Let's call him Steve.

Steve was married over 30 years and has children. He left his house situation a while ago....and even was partnered for a couple of years or so. That fizzled and he's currently in the midst of the mediation process....and negotiating a separation agreement. The final divorce isn't expected for at least another year.

Steve had sent me an email and in part it said, "Kind of down and out today, really feeling very lonely, guess I'll get used to it, but never have lived alone before!"

Well, I called him......and yes, he was feeling all the things that I have periodically felt.

You see, for all the negative feelings you may have toward us guys who are married.....and gay....... You may feel that we have deeived our wives, or that we are just above pond scum in the order of life, we married guys do love our wives.....and we've tried to make the most of a bad situation.

A long-term marriage is not easily forgotten.

You just can't turn off the feelings of hurt and loneliness.....EVEN WHEN YOU'RE GAY.

Steve was feeling that tonight.

We chatted through the miracle of the telephone for about 45 minutes.

Finally Steve said that he needed to go and get ready for his week ahead. Before he hung up, he said, "Frank, thanks for listening to me. I feel so much better. Thanks for being a friend."

We hung up.

I felt lifted up -- not that I was "down." But I felt really encouraged because I was able to encourage him.

Maybe I can do more of this in the future for other men who are having a hard time adjusting.

And just care...