In my discussion last night with Lovey, following her discourse about all her many physical ailments, she mentioned in passing that she had lunch on Sunday with a "friend" who was a former policeman.
He's also into cars in a big way....and he checked my son's car out from stem-to-stern and announced that it was a "good deal."
Gee, I thought it was....but...my word/thoughts/opinions have never carried much weight with Lovey!
She had this stupid look on her face as she described her "friend"...so I'm left to wonder...does she have her eyes set on this man? Was he her "date"? Could my days of alimony be numbered?
Stay tuned....this is getting interesting!
It has raised the thought in my mind as to how I would handle her remarriage. I mean, after all the drama, and trauma I endured going through the separation and divorce. The profound sadness....
But, I'm sensing a change here for Old Frank. I'm feeling so much better about things....and tremendously encouraged by what I'm feeling. Should she remarry...I don't believe I'd be depressed....not now....not in the least.
My main concern would be, "When can I stop the alimony!"
Sign me up!
You see, there was a period of time when I was consumed by guilt....and by feelings of failure..... Even Lovey's medical problems were thrown at me as a symptom of "our" issues. She said on more than one occasion that she was looking forward to be divorced because she knew that God was going to heal her of all her medical issues because my being gay was the reason.
Isn't that silly?
And the worst part of all is that I believed her!
Well, she still has her medical issues.
Her house is still a wreck. (She no longer has the kids and me to blame for it -- so now she blames her cat.)
She even said something about her not wanting to preach ever again!
MERCY!
It doesn't sound like her world is much better....
And my world has not ended in unknowns..... I'm here at my house.....happily looking forward to the grand age of 50.
Most of all, I'm feeling fantastically well. Going forward, I want to take better care of myself.....my house.....my finances.....and
I want FUN!
Lots of FUN!
I can't believe how far I've come and just how good I feel!
My old self-confidence is showing glimmers of return...
1 comment:
Frank;
I think you have much for which to be thankful, and if Lovey can find someone hopefully that will be one more thing to feel good about; not just financially (although that would obviously be great for you) but if there is some lingering irrational emotional responsibility I am sure it would go a long way toward relieving that also.
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