I did a lot in church this morning. This is the first time that I've been so busy at church in years!
I did the Call To worship.
I then did a testimonial about the annual church retreat which is coming up soon.
Then, I got to pray with people after they had been served communion.
I feel so very close to each of the members of that church... It is so hard to believe that I have been going there for over a year now and feel so at home. I've made so many new friends that it is sometimes hard to get used to.
But then, a lot of my other friends would say, "Frank, why do you say this? You're a likeable guy!"
Sometimes I think I just need to get my attitude adjusted.
Had lunch with the gang and then headed home to work on cleaning out my laundry room. Spoke with the daughter in Nashville at length today. Her love life is in full swing. I'm very happy for her.
I also spoke with the daughter in El Salvador, who just learned of her twin's love life. Oh my goodness.....that is something to hear them talk at 90mph. WHEW!
Oh to be that young and carefree again.
I keep hoping to meet Mr. Right. I've met several guys over the past few months...and in the back of my head I'm always wondering...."Is this the one?" There's one very special man at my church that does it for me....but...**sigh**....nothing is going to happen there. I just know it. Someone else has his fulltime attention...which is the story of my life.
They're either married to women.....
or they're already partnered or dating other men.....
or they just look at me and wrinkle up their noses and say, "We're not a match."
I've said it before....and I'll say it again. Why do I have to be the one to initiate? Why do I have to be the person that takes the chance and has his face slapped? Why can't some of these men do it?
Do I give off an "unavailable" vibe or something?
My daughter, #2, found her beau by accident. She went to eat at a Chili's restaurant after church about a month ago....and a group of friends knew her group of friends.....and they all decided to sit together. Mr. Bodybuilder happened to sit across from #2....and, well, the rest is history.
Perhaps I'm giving off a panic vibe. You know....I'm pushing the age of 50.....I'm lonely.....I want to have a special man in my life to spoil....and to have him spoil me a bit. I want someone to grow older with. Somebody to take trips with....someone to explore the world......and to enjoy and to love my kids.
Why is this so dang hard?
1 comment:
Frank;
You mused “Perhaps I'm giving off a panic vibe. Psychology – of group behavior indicates that the leaders are those that are confident and content with what they have, have a vision and march to it. Those are the people that in junior high seemed to be arrogant – not necessarily because they felt that they were “too good” for the rest of us, but because they were content and did not “feel the need” to make us like them – and so we did – those of us on the “needy side” kept pressing toward them trying to get their attention. If you watch the “Dog Whisperer” on the National Geographic Channel, or read advice columns you get the same message. You have to not “NEED” others to attract them.
How to get to that point – yes that is the trick. I think that we all need to see our feelings as responses to our situation that we can choose to amplify or minimize. When we are alone feelings will arise; loneliness may be one, we can choose to amplify it – dwell on it, or minimize it – let it go with the next breath. If we let it go we are still alone and other feelings will arise; this time it may be exhilaration at the freedom to do exactly what you want rather than have to compromise with someone else. Even Mr. Right is not always going to want to send you the heights of bliss every time you come down a little. Again we can choose to amplify that feeling – relish and build upon it, or minimize it – let it go with the next breath. Regularly choosing to amplify the positive feelings that come up when alone while letting go of the negative, increases contentment with being alone – decreasing the “NEED” for others. This may lessen any panic vibe that may be around scaring off potential Mr. Rights – at the very least its better to live alone in contentment than lonliness.
Rick
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