The Power of Words

#1 and I had a fascinating conversation the other day. I was driving her to one of her last days at her office.

We always discussed an array of subjects: things that we had read in the newspaper, items we had heard on TV, discussion of the plots of "Desperate Housewives" and "Brothers and Sisters."

We talked about everything.

We stopped at a traffic light and a blind man walked across in front of us. I asked #1, "How would you describe the color blue to a person who had been blind since birth?"

She thought a moment, and said, "I don't know, Dad. If you tried to tell them that blue is the color of the ocean, well they haven't seen the ocean before so they still don't know what it's like."

It stirred a lot of things like that in my head...like clouds...how would you describe clouds.... "Oh, they're white like snow and puffy." Puffy? How do you describe that?

I then grinned and thought to myself, how do you describe what an erection feels like if she has never had a penis and experienced an erection?

How do you describe love to someone who has never experienced it?

And, there are vrying degrees of love. Those folks in love can nod their heads in agreement, they know what it's all like.

But those who have never experienced love can't.

I tell my kids all the time that they will never know how much I love them, until they have children of their own. "Then we'll have this conversation," I say. They shake their heads in amazement.

There are so many hurting and lonely people in the world during this day and time. I'm amazed.

This week I've met two of them. One of them is a clergyman who struggles for perfection. He wants to be the best he knows how to be and he "drives" himself. He is also gay and everyone at his church and in his family know about it. Based on his beliefs, he's a bit hamstrung.

We gay folks are always living dramatic lives...trying to conform to what society expects. We're told that we are evil, that God didn't make us this way...that it just happened, or was caused by some sort of traumatic event in our lives. Then we establish these little boundaries for ourselves to keep from slipping. This only adds to the overall stress that we find ourselves living under.

Another funy thing is the fact that when we are strugglign with coming to terms with our gay identity, we feel immediately that we have to make life altering choices...immediately.

And this is what my minister pal feel he must do.

At breakfast this morning I looked him in the eye and said, "No one is holding a gun to your head and asking you to make these choices right at this second. Slow down and BREATH."

I walked him to his car...and as we stopped, I looked at him and said...."Did you know that you're a very special man?" He paused. He then said that when I called him this week during a family crisis, the call had meant something to him. For once, a person was not asking him to do something for them. Someone....a friendly voice...was actually interested in how HE was doing for a change.

It made a profound impression on him.

I gave him a big hug....and told him that I would be praying for him.
Later on in the day, I got an e-card from him.... It said in part:

Thank-you so much for letting me share my heart and struggle with you. It meant a lot to me as well as your affirming words about me being special... I guess I still need to hear that!

Sometimes the simplest words make the greatest impact.